FBI, Freakouts and the Fifth

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 10, 2022

Republicans and the right wing media have lost their minds over Trump being raided by the FBI. Without knowing anything about what was retrieved and why, they have immediately rushed to his defense. Some, like 2 of Trump’s attorneys and Newt Gingrich, accused the FBI of planting evidence without any proof. Some were more outraged and emotional than others. Jeanine Pirro’s rant on the Fox show, “The Five,” almost made liberal co-anchor, Harold Ford Jr, lose his composure. He didn’t laugh, but it was tough.

Fox News implied that the judge who approved the Mar-a-Lago search warrant is a pedophile.

“If the FBI can do this to President Donald Trump, they can do it to you.” — Senator Marsha Blackburn

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. If anybody steals classified information from the federal government, they should expect to be raided by the FBI. That’s why the libs are so happy today. At long last the public has learned that the president is NOT ABOVE THE LAW.

“I actually don’t think they went in looking for documents. I think that was probably their excuse, they found some Obama donor judge to write them — a ruse, yeah. They found an Obama judge — not even a judge, magistrate to write and give them a search warrant.” — Senator Marco Rubio

“Doing this 90 days before an election reeks of politics. This is a dangerous precedent to set.” — Senator Lindsey Graham

“Trump and his family have gone through unimaginable slings and arrows. This is a president who deserves another term in office, not more persecution by the Marxist left.” — Ex-Fox Host Lou Dobbs

Trump accused the Dems of doing this to keep him from running in 2024. His cult followers called it a deep state plot.

Trump immediately sent out a fundraising email after the raid. Send me money to fight the never ending witch hunt!

The FBI took at least 10 boxes. Trump had already given 15 boxes back but the feds knew there were more. What were in those boxes? National security secrets he was going to sell to Russia? Nuclear secrets he was going to sell to the Saudis? Trump has a copy of the warrant but he won’t say what’s in it.

After Trump tried to put Hillary Clinton in jail over the made up email scandal, he signed a law that increased the penalty for the unauthorized removal and retention of classified documents from one year to five years, making it a felony offense. He did it to make her sit in jail longer but now he’ll have to sit in jail longer.

While all of this was going on, news broke that Ginni Thomas will be talking to the Select Committee, the House Ways and Means Committee has been given the all clear to get Trump’s tax returns, Trump’s real estate appraiser must hand over 36,000 documents to the New York AG, Paul Manafort admitted that he lied to Bob Mueller about giving polling data to Russia intelligence, and the FBI seized the cell phone of Republican Congressman Scott Perry.

Confiscating a phone from a sitting member of Congress is a really big deal.

Hey Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Mike Lee, etc. do you know where your phones are?

Doug Mastriano, a member of Congress who was in on the coup, met with the Select Committee yesterday and refused to answer any questions. He called it quits after 15 minutes.

Republicans are totally freaking out — worried about their own asses. Things are so chaotic that they don’t have any cohesive messaging or talking points for the first time ever. That’s one thing they’re really good at — repetitive, rehearsed, unified messaging, but not this time. Nobody is steering the boat. They’re all grabbing life vests and trying to find their phones.

This morning Trump finally sat for a deposition with the AG of New York who is investigating his businesses. He took the Fifth. When Trump was campaigning in 2016 he said, “The mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”

Trump is searching for a criminal defense attorney.

MAGAs and militia men are losing it over on Truth Social, calling for civil war, but so far it’s only online threats. 74 million MAGAs didn’t answer the call. Right wing media and Republicans in Congress are up in arms, but nobody is out in the streets. 5.6 million of his cult members live in Florida and only a couple dozen of them bothered to leave their houses. One traveled 5 miles.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.