Finally

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJun 8, 2023

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Pat Robertson, the far right Christian nationalist broadcaster and former Republican presidential candidate who helped make Republican Jesus a central element of right-wing politics is finally dead. He founded the Christian Broadcasting Network and regularly espoused racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic bigotry on TV for decades. Here’s some of the horrible, hateful things he has said:

“Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

After another televangelist, Jerry Falwell, founder of the Moral Majority, said after the attack on the World Trade Center on September 11, “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen,’” Pat Robertson responded, “Well, I totally concur.”

The Supreme Court finally did something right and upheld a district court decision finding that Alabama violated the Voting Rights Act by failing to draw a second majority Black congressional district. Black voters are 27% of the population in Alabama but only hold 1/7 seats. Kavanaugh and Roberts voted with libs.

Steve Bannon has been subpoenaed to appear before a DC grand jury to testify about January 6, FINALLY. He’ll have to tell about meeting with Roger Stone, Rudy and others at the Willard Hotel at their “war room” the day before the insurrection and what he said on his podcast on January 5 about all hell breaking loose on January 6.

Mark Meadows has agreed to PLEAD GUILTY to several lesser federal crimes in exchange for his testimony under a limited grant of immunity. He has to testify truthfully about January 6 and the classified docs at Mar-a-Lago. Mark Meadows blew off the subpoena from the Select Committee and has been incognito for over 2 years. He has finally surfaced, FINALLY.

20 members of Trump’s secret service detail have testified regarding January 6, finally.

They finally arrested a Hollywood elite that Republicans are always talking about. Jay Johnston got busted for attacking the Capitol. He has had small parts on Bob’s Burgers, Arrested Development and Anchorman.

“Donald said recently that there will be big problems if he’s indicted. There is not going to be some mass uprising to protest the fact that Donald finally for once in his life is being held accountable. The real problem is that we’re probably going to run out of beer.” — Mary Trump

Jack Smith and Merrick Garland should do a press conference this morning to update the country on Trump getting indicted.

Finally.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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