Fink Ass

Kyrsten Sinema went to Kentucky with her fink ass Mitch McConnell to talk about her support for the filibuster at the collegiate center that bears his name. “Despite our apparent differences, Senator McConnell and I have forged a friendship, one that is rooted in our commonalities, including our pragmatic approach to legislating, our respect for the Senate as an institution.” She dressed down for the occasion. What was the fashion statement she made for Mitch and his friends? Homely housewife. She’s got a thing about keeping this creepy old fart satisfied. It’s gross. If 2 more Dems get elected to the Senate in November it’s not going to matter if Sinema swings both ways because she will be irrelevant. The public won’t have to endure any more of her fink ass antics. “Not everyone likes me,” she told the audience. Mitch pretends to like her and that’s good enough for her because clearly this woman has daddy issues.

NASA shot at an asteroid for kicks just to see if they could blow one up or change its course if ever one posed a threat to Earth. While NASA looks for possible existential threats to Earth out in space, Republicans are preventing solutions to existential threats on Earth that are happening right now by blocking legislation on climate change. Hurricane Ian just hit the west coast of Florida and it’s a big one. People are evacuating. First responders have told the public that if they don’t leave there will be no help for them because they’re taking cover themselves and won’t be available until the coast is clear.

The other real threat to life on earth (America only) is guns and the Republicans have done everything in their power to block laws to protect the public from getting shot. As of this weekend, the US has reached over 500 mass shootings this year (4 or more victims per shooting). This is the third consecutive year of 500 mass shootings. Democrats want stricter gun laws as does the public. Republicans want 500 mass shootings a year.

Gun control fun fact: After Bill Clinton banned assault weapons in 1994, mass shooting deaths (6 or more victims) dropped by 37%. In 2004 the ban expired and mass shooting deaths shot up by 138%. These statistics don’t include the record breaking past 3 years of 500 or more. The state with the most mass shootings is Texas where there aren’t any gun laws. 4 out of the 12 bloodiest, deadliest and biggest mass shootings in US history happened in Texas.

Speaking of Texas Republicans, Attorney General Ken Paxton is on the run. He and his wife, state senator Angela Paxton, took off in a truck yesterday to avoid being served a subpoena from a nonprofit that is suing the state for keeping them from paying for women to leave Texas to get an abortion. Paxton has been under indictment for 7 years for securities fraud without a trial. He is also under investigation from the Texas Bar and faces a whistleblower suit brought by former top deputies for doing favors for a wealthy donor. The guy also sued to overturn the 2020 presidential election. He’s up for re-election in November and could very likely win because it’s Texas, the fink ass state.

Putin has granted Russian citizenship to fink ass Edward Snowden, the computer intelligence subcontractor who leaked highly classified information from the National Security Agency in 2013. He’s been living in Russia ever since, escaping prosecution.

The newly elected leader of Italy, Giorgia Meloni, is a hard core right winger and member of the party that was formed after Mussolini was assassinated. Same party, different name. Trump and the Republicans courted her during Trump’s reign. She spoke at CPAC and got lots of applause. Like Viktor Orbán of Hungary, Meloni is a hero to Republicans in America and is a danger to democracy.

Mussolini came to power 100 years ago just by walking into the job. The king at the time let him take over as prime minister without a violent revolution. Mussolini is the founder of fascism. Hitler came to power in 1934, 12 years later. Both were defeated by the Americans in WWII. The Germans have owned their evil history and have taken measures for it to never happen again. The Italians, on the other hand, learned a different lesson from its history and voted for fascism again. It didn’t end well for either dictator at the end of the war. Mussolini was assassinated by his own people and his corpse was hung in the town square alongside his mistress. Hitler killed himself the day after Mussolini was hung up to dry. A couple of fink ass dictators that scorned human history.

Republican Alaska state representative David Eastman could be disqualified if he wins re-election because he’s a fink ass. He violated the “disloyalty clause” of the first amendment of their state constitution: “No person who advocates, or who aids or belongs to any party or organization or association which advocates, the overthrow by force or violence of the United States or of the State shall be qualified to hold any public office of trust or profit under this constitution.” What makes him “disloyal?” He’s a lifetime member of the Oath Keepers.

Today is the first of the biggest and most important January 6 trial so far. Five members of the Oath Keepers, including its leader Stewart Rhodes, go on trial for seditious conspiracy and various other charges. Jury selection could take all week. Stewart Rhodes refers to himself as a dissident political prisoner like Nelson Mandela and intends to take the stand on his own behalf. He says that even though Trump never actually invoked the Insurrection Act, he thought he would so that’s why he commanded his militia to attack while he stayed behind and covered his own fink ass.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.