Food Fight

Trump tweeted out a photoshopped image of his head on Rocky Balboa’s body with no caption the day before Thanksgiving which made the country gasp and gag. The Obamas tweeted out messages of gratitude and love with a photo of their happy, loving family which made the country happy and sad. How could we go from the Obamas to the Trumps over night?

Trump has 3 families and is only thankful for one of them because he was able to get them to sign on to the Trump Org when nobody else would do business with him. He uses his kids to run his criminal enterprise and has ruined their lives by dragging them into the presidency where they will ultimately go down with their “father.” They obliged him because like any kid who has been rejected and ignored by their father their whole lives, they desperately seek his attention and approval and will do just about anything to get it, including going to jail.

Lindsey Graham doesn’t have a family. That’s why it’s easy for him to be such an asshole. He has no idea what it’s like to live for another or love children. That’s why it’s easy to make decisions with no regard for the impact they have on anybody he cares about. He doesn’t care about anybody or the country and it’s obvious. Meghan McCain won’t criticize him for being a traitor because she says he’s like family. If Lindsey cared about her like family he’d care about her future.

The Macy‘s’ Parade today will be incomplete without America’s favorite giant balloon, Baby Trump.

Junior wants MAGAs to “trigger” their liberal relatives today by praising Trump and pissing everybody off during dinner. He wants MAGAS to send him video of family fights. That captures Thanksgiving 2019 perfectly. The president’s family wants you to fight with yours so they can show it on TV. Where will Junior be today? His father is at his private club in Florida being served by hired help surrounded by people who have paid to be there. Junior is divorced so he may not be welcome wherever his kids are. There is no way in hell he’d ever show up at a soup kitchen to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving so maybe Lindsey will let him come over.

Meanwhile, normal people are dreading having to sit and eat with MAGA relatives this year because at this point, if you don’t know how corrupt and dangerous Trump is you either don’t care or are you’re too stupid to live in society. Either way, it may be too much to ask to have to sit through a meal with cult members yammering on about what they heard on Fox News or worse, QAnon. Lots of people may be calling in sick today for Thanksgiving. Better to eat alone than be filmed fighting with your MAGA uncle.

Or maybe it’s time to just go for it and let them have it. So what if you get filmed and end up on TV? Food fight!

“By a show of hands, who is going to be drunk around MAGA family members for Thanksgiving and berate them for aiding in the destruction of our democracy? If you need any talking points, hit me up. I am here for you” — some guy on Twitter

“The conventional advice is ‘avoid politics at Thanksgiving’ but as a political scientist I advise you to go hard. Point out all the social welfare programs your relatives are on. When your uncle says, ‘It’s illegal to say Merry Christmas in New York’ call him a fucking moron.” — another guy on Twitter

When Hollywood starts making movies about this era someone has got to do a dark comedy about families with MAGAs in them and include a scene where the host laces the Turkey with acid and everybody is tripping on Thanksgiving. All of the resentment and anger that the non-MAGAs have been suppressing will come out towards the MAGAs and the MAGAs will get a dose of what it’s been like to have to live with them. For a happy ending, at least one of the MAGA relatives has got to have an acid induced spiritual experience, see the light, and take off the red hat forever.

“We spend too much time hearing arguments about why we shouldn’t discard a friendship over politics but it’s always the people with principles who are expected to ‘accept’ the bad behavior of others. People living a consequence free life is how we got here, they should face some.” — Bob Sampson

Food fight!

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.