Forklift in the Road

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 30, 2020


As a fork lift deposited dead people in body bags inside a freezer truck outside of a hospital in Brooklyn, Trump was doing his daily propaganda briefing in the Garden of Grieve. He said, “Black body bags and freezer trucks as long as the Rose Garden — I’ve never seen anything like it.”

He didn’t actually see the body bags for himself. He saw it on Twitter or TV.

When a reporter confronted him about his horrible treatment of governors he said, “When they disrespect me, they are disrespecting our government.”

He accused doctors and nurses of stealing masks and hospitals of hoarding ventilators and then told reporters they ought to investigate.

After journalist Yamiche Alcindor asked Trump to clarify what he meant when he told Sean Hannity that he was going to quarantine New York, New Jersey and Connecticut and then explain what he meant by governors not really needing as much as they are asking for, he got pissed off and told her not to be threatening and negative and to be nice. Then a White House aide took the mic out of her hand. Yamiche is a woman. And black.

Trump is spinning the death count to make it look good for him, claiming that if it weren’t for him 2.2 million people would die. But hey, because of me, only 100,000–200,000 should die. Victory! Yay for me! I am great. Great. GREAT!

Only 100,000 dead? Not bad! Good job!

100,000 amounts to 3,000 people dying every day in the month of April.

Far less than 100,000–200,000 would die if Trump hadn’t lied about when the virus had come to America and how serious it was and then lied about it being a Democratic hoax. If we had a real president we would have known 3 months ago and would have all the right people in place to manage the spread.

Before his propaganda briefing he was tweeting about his ratings (not a word of condolences to the families of the dead, as usual): President Trump is a ratings hit. Since reviving the daily White House briefing Mr. Trump and his coronavirus updates have attracted an average audience of 8.5 million on cable news, roughly the viewership of the season finale of ‘The Bachelor.’ Numbers are continuing to rise. On Monday, nearly 12.2 million people watched Mr. Trump’s briefing on CNN, Fox News and MSNBC, according to Nielsen — ‘Monday Night Football’ numbers. Millions more are watching on ABC, CBS, NBC and online streaming sites, and the audience is expanding. On Monday, Fox News alone attracted 6.2 million viewers for the president’s briefing — an astounding number for a 6 p.m. cable broadcast, more akin to the viewership for a popular prime-time sitcom. The CBS News poll said 13 percent of Republicans trusted the news media for information about the virus.

After bragging about his ratings, Trump said he can’t wait to find out what happens in the finale of The Bachelor once the crisis is over.

Trump can’t believe that the coronavirus is in 150 countries. He can’t believe it! Some people didn’t even know there were 150 countries (there are 193 countries and the coronavirus is in all of them.)

Fox News viewers are going to have to go from not believing that the coronavirus is serious to believing that people died but they didn’t die from the coronavirus to nobody died, the Democrats are lying. Once the Fox News audience dies, family members who aren’t part of the cult will sue Fox for lying to their parents about the virus and causing their deaths.

Yesterday Trump denied saying governors were trying to take advantage of the federal government by asking for stuff that they don’t need. Today he told Fox that governors were trying to take advantage of the federal government by asking for stuff that they don’t need.

So far today Trump has rambled on Fox and Friends and called Putin.

Not on his agenda: Seeing for himself the fork lifts piling dead bodies into make shift morgues on the streets of New York.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.