Game On

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 30, 2019

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Russia is graduating from the game of hacking our elections to actually buying the companies that oversee our elections. A Russian oligarch close to Putin just bought an elections company in Maryland.

Ollie North resigned from the NRA. The chief legal counsel is out too. The organization’s tax exempt status is now in question. The NRA is going down thanks to ACTIVISTS — Moms Demand Action, March for Our Lives, and everybody who badgered the gun lobby. Congress doesn’t get any credit for this. They lost at the game of chicken. They’re the chicken.

A new activist organization has just launched — Supermajority, taking women from resisting, marching and voting to the Big Game — kicking major political ass. Supermajority is going to make the old white farts in the GOP cry and run, and the wishy washy Dems grow a spine or else.

Rod Rosenstein has resigned. In his resignation letter he kissed Trump’s pasty old white fart butt and thanked him profusely for all of the good talks they had. They weren’t supposed to be having talks.

Bill Barr is playing games with Congress. He thinks he’s going to outsmart them all. House Judiciary Committee Chair, Jerry Nadler, will subpoena him. At the worst, if he lies under oath he can be impeached. At the very least, the cover up will be exposed. If he doesn’t cooperate he can be prosecuted for contempt. Bill Barr isn’t as smart as he and Trump thinks he is.

Paul Ryan’s book is being sold at Dollar Tree.

Wisconsin senator Ron Johnson defended Trump for calling law enforcement scum at a MAGA rally in his state. Ron Johnson is Trump loving scum floating on the surface of the Republican swamp.

Wisconsin has lost 1,390 dairy farms since Trump took office.

In Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin, 75 homes were demolished and hundreds of farmland acres were cleared to make room for Foxconn, a Taiwanese multinational electronics contract manufacturing company that was supposed to build a plant for a $10 billion liquid crystal display factory for iPhones. They got a big fat financial incentive from the government. Former Republican governor, Scott Walker, got them $4 billion in tax breaks and other incentives to open a facility there and now they’re hemming and hee hawing and playing games about breaking ground. No jobs for you, Mount Pleasant! Sorry about losing the farm.

The US farmer income has taken a $11.8 billion dive since Trump declared his trade war.

Joe Biden told middle class voters in Pennsylvania that the stock market is rolling, but not for them. They don’t feel it. The stock market is a rich man’s gambling game and the average middle class worker can’t afford to play.

Trump is suing Deutsche Bank and Capital One to block House subpoenas. He will sue everybody who is subpoenaed in order to run out the clock because that’s a game guilty people play.

Junior’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, a former Fox host, has joined Trump’s reelection campaign as a senior adviser. The new Kellyanne Conjob has gigantic boobs and plans on using them when she talks so nobody will actually hear her bullshit. The game is called, Booby Trap.

Trump has ordered a new way to stick it to asylum seekers — charge them an entrance fee like at a swap meet. He’s going to make poor people pay for humanitarian aid. He’s going to make work permits even stricter, too. Once they’re in the country they’ll have a hard time supporting themselves. Kidnapping their kids didn’t work so he’ll starve them out. Immigration is just a game to Trump. Everything is just a game to Trump.

Thousands of immigrant children have been sexually abused in detention centers.

A MAGA from Ohio drove 8 hours to Hillary Clinton’s house in New York to demand she be arrested.

Palliative nurses, who specialize in caring for dying babies and grieving parents, say they fear for their own safety because Trump is telling his followers that they’re killing babies.

House Intelligence Chair, Adam Schiff, is sending a criminal referral to the Justice Department today for Erik Prince, because he lied to the Committee when he testified in 2017.

Game on.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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