Get Back to Work!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 6, 2020

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Trump says the coronavirus is “a tough enemy, a smart enemy, but nobody’s like us and nobody’s tough like us. And I said it before and I’ll say it again…..the people of our country are warriors.” Got that people? We’re warriors in Trump’s war. He uses combat language because he sees himself as a wartime president.

“We can’t keep our country closed. We have to open our country. Will some people be badly affected? Yes.” Trump is saying that lives will need to be sacrificed in order to save the economy before election day.

Disgraced Republican former governor Chris Christie compared reopening the economy to WWII. “The message is that the American people have gone through significant death before. We’ve gone through it and we’ve survived it. We sacrificed those lives.”

So many of us stayed home for 2 months — an unprecedented act of solidarity — only for this administration to squander that time and double down on a “plan” that’s a mix of “every man for himself” and “die for your employer.” This is all depressing. — Tracey Ross

Trump is winding down his PR task force while the pandemic is peaking in time for Memorial Day, the day we honor those who died in war. He won! The war is over! A portion of the country is totally cool with it — the same amount of people who don’t believe that 6 million people died in the Holocaust.

The Trump/Republican strategy is to ignore the pandemic and pretend like nobody is getting sick and dying. The Holocaust/Coronavirus/Reality deniers are cool with it.

No thoughts and prayers for the 70,000 dead and 1.2 million who are sick, and still no testing.

Dr. Rick Bright, the HHS doctor who was “reassigned” from being a top guy on the pandemic team to a grunt in another department because he questioned authority and called Trump out has filed a whistleblower complaint and will testify in front of Congress next week about how he was pressured by Trump to say things that weren’t true and go along with decisions that were driven by politics and cronyism.

Trump is keeping Dr. Fauci from testifying before the House because “because the House is a set up. The House is a bunch of Trump haters. They, frankly, want our situation to be unsuccessful, which means death.”

Trump got the attention he’s been jonesing for ever since he stopped doing his daily bullshit infomercials. He toured the Honeywell PPE N95 mask making plant in Arizona and didn’t wear a mask. Nobody did. As he walked through the facility, Guns ‘n Roses “Live and Let Die” was blaring so loud you couldn’t hear the big shots talk making the guy who did that America’s favorite resister of the day.

The Lincoln Project is a group of Never Trump conservatives who want Trump out of office and is airing ads on TV and social media calling Trump out for being a dangerous fraud. After their latest ad aired on Fox News’ Tucker Carlson’s show, Trump got so pissed he rage tweeted into the middle of night: A group of RINO Republicans who failed badly 12 years ago, then again 8 years ago, and then got BADLY beaten by me, a political first timer, 4 years ago, have copied (no imagination) the concept of an ad from Ronald Reagan, “Morning in America”, doing everything possible to get even for all of their many failures. You see, these loser types don’t care about 252 new Federal Judges, 2 great Supreme Court Justices, a rebuilt military, a protected 2nd Amendment, biggest EVER Tax & Regulation cuts, and much more. I didn’t use any of them because they don’t know how to win, and their so-called Lincoln Project is a disgrace to Honest Abe. I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband, Moonface, but it must have been really bad. John Weaver lost big for Kasich (to me). Crazed Rick Wilson lost for Evan “McMuffin” McMullin (to me). Steve Schmidt & Reed Galvin lost for John McCain, Romney’s campaign manager (?) lost big to “O”, & Jennifer Horn got thrown out of the New Hampshire Republican Party. They’re all LOSERS, but Abe Lincoln, Republican, is all smiles!

The day after, reporters had 11 minutes during an interview with Kellyanne Conway to ask about Trump calling her husband a deranged moon-faced loser but they didn’t.

A MAGA terrorist “protester” in Colorado was arrested for planning to set off 4 pipe bombs at the state capitol because he was mad that businesses were closed.

A security guard at a dollar store in Flint Michigan was shot and killed by a “Liberate Michigan” nut because he tried to enforce the mask rule. Another man in Michigan was arrested for wiping his nose on a clerk at the Dollar Store.

Business owners who defy state orders and re-open, politicians who open states, county and municipalities, coroners who under report coronavirus deaths, and people who wipe their noses on other people should be charged with bioterrorism.

Hey Trump! Get to work!

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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