Get Off Your Fucking Asses

Trump went to south Florida to golf while the kids from south Florida went to Washington DC to march for their lives.

800,000 kids and their supporters descended on the nation’s capitol, the biggest crowd ever to attend a single demonstration in DC, to demand better gun laws. The kids did all of the talking. Politicians were invited to listen.

Congress is in recess so there wasn’t anybody there to listen which is ironic because they don’t listen anyway.

More people attended March for Our Lives than Trump’s fake inauguration. Those were paid crisis actors.

While Trump vacationed at his private club, 40 minutes away from the site of the Parkland shooting where students had assembled to march for their lives, he tweeted his thoughts and prayers for an attack on France. Nothing about the March for Our Lives. No thoughts. No prayers. No tweets. No visits. Nothing.

There were hundreds of thousands of people in the streets in every state in the nation with no reports of violence, scuttles with the police, destruction of property, or trash.

There were so many kids pre-registering to vote at the marches that they had to use each other’s backs to write on because there weren’t enough clip boards.

Counter protests popped up, of course, but they were weak and small, just like the the protesters’ wieners. One lone gun nut showed up at a march with his dog and his AR hanging from his neck. He should have been arrested for exposure. That poor dog.

Gun nuts and Republicans blamed the Democrats for putting the kids up to it.

NRA host, Colion Noir said nobody would know the Parkland kids’ names if their friends hadn’t died. He also said that they’re being used to destroy the second amendment.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Mark Amodei, a congressman from Reno, Nevada, got a student, Noah Christensen, suspended and removed as class treasurer because Noah called his office and was disrespectful. He was participating in the 17-minute walkout at his school and decided to call his congressman and give him a piece of his mind. He asked that he vote to make bump stocks illegal and raise the minimum age to buy a gun from 18 years to 21 years. Then he cussed. He said, “Members of Congress need to get off their fucking asses and take action.” That was that. He disrespected the intern whose job it is to take messages from angry, cussing ADULT constituents all day. Noah was smacked down by his congressman and his principal, for cussing. You will not use that kind of language while talking to an adult just because you’re afraid of getting shot at school, young man.

Gun nut fun fact: New England heiress, Sarah Winchester, inherited $20.5 million (equivalent to $520 million today) after her husband died in 1881. The money came from his business, the Winchester Repeating Arms Company. She was totally freaked out that so many people had died in her family’s name, and believed that her husband and daughter died young because the dead were getting their revenge. So she decided to move west and build a 7 story mansion in northern California for her and the ghosts to “live in” — anybody who was killed by the Winchester Rifle (a repeating single-barrel rifle that could hold numerous rounds of ammunition) could live there as long as they didn’t kill her. She believed that if she just kept paying contractors to keep building it would appease the spirits and she would live forever. Construction was constant, all day, every day, for 38 years, ending with 161 rooms, including 40 bedrooms, 2 ballrooms 47 fireplaces, 17 chimneys, 2 basements, 3 elevators, over 10,000 panes of glass, and doors, passageways and stairs that led to nowhere. NOWHERE.

Sarah did eventually die. Her ghost guests went on to haunt today’s gun nuts who keep buying more and more guns so they won’t ever die.

March for Our Lives organizer and survivor of the Parkland shooting, David Hogg, said his school is 25% black but nobody would know it because the media didn’t give the black kids any voice. They only interviewed the white kids. These kids are so self-aware and politically astute that they even know how to leverage their own white privilege by calling out the very media that has been so generous to them.

Samantha Fuentes was one of the kids who got shot in Parkland and survived. While she was reading her poem and speech in front of millions of people she barfed and then kept going. “I just threw up on international television and I feel great!” she said. On with the cause!

The kids in Parkland were shot at and they feel great.

“Members of Congress need to get off their fucking asses and take action.”

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.