Get Out

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 2, 2019

US Attorney Robert K. Hur did a press conference outside the Union Baptist Church in Baltimore to talk about 4 federal cases and what they’re doing to reduce violent crime after Trump called Baltimore a violent rat infested city that nobody would want to live in. This was a day after Trump sent his token black cabinet member, Ben Carson, to Baltimore to do a press conference (damage control for Trump.) He too, did it in front of a church, but the church kicked him off the property.

Get out!

Someone broke into Congressman Elijah Cummings’ house in Baltimore after Trump spent a few days ranting against him. He mocked the robbery on Twitter this morning, “Too bad!”

Get out!

Trump bashed Baltimore again last night at his MAGA rally in Cincinatti. He said it had more crime than Afghanistan. The president of the United States mocked the murder rate of an American city during a public speech. The crowd loved it because they’re just as dumb and cruel as he is.

Get out!

He bashed California for having homeless people and poverty.

A protester got punched in the head a few times by a MAGA outside of the event center. Inside, a protester got booed out of the building and nearly beaten up for holding up an “Immigrants Built America” banner. The crowd booed and yelled for 4 minutes. Get out! Get out! Get out! What did Trump do? He checked with someone in the audience to make sure that the mayor of Cincinnati was a Democrat and then repeatedly called out from the mic, “Democrat mayor!”

No MAGA rally would be complete without Trump demonstrating how much he doesn’t know about world history. He said, “Remember the Soviet Union? When it was all together. Before they decided, ‘we have to call ourselves Russia.’”

The US has pulled out of the US-Russia nuclear treaty and is testing a new weapon. The treaty was signed in 1987 by Reagan and Gorbachev when Russia was the Soviet Union. The arms race is back on with Trump and Putin in charge. It’s not enough that the whole world has to worry about going extinct from climate change, but now they have to fear getting blown up by a murderous cock and his sucker, too? GET OUT!

900 migrant kids have been kidnapped by the federal government since Trump said they would stop doing it. Lindsey Graham’s Senate Judiciary Committee passed a bill that says the government can kidnap kids and keep them indefinitely. He called the vote without letting the Democrats speak.

7 people in North Carolina turned themselves in for election fraud. None of them were “illegal immigrants.” Nope. They were your typical MAGAs — stupid, white, mean, and dumber than a Trump brand golf ball.

Get the fuck out.

Trump ordered the US Navy to rescind achievement medals given to military lawyers who prosecuted Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher, who was found not guilty of war crimes. He killed civilians for kicks in Afghanistan and took pictures of himself with naked corpses. His defense? Everybody does it.

The media keeps asking Democrats if they think their party has moved too far left. Why? Because they want to keep the earth from frying and think that everybody should have a livable wage and health care? They don’t ask Republicans if they’ve moved too far to the right. You don’t ever see reporters shove a mic in a white man’s face and ask him if making excuses for Nazis and not doing anything when the president threatens people who aren’t white and Republican is too extreme.

Hey media! Get out of here with your right wing talking points!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was blasted by a Kentucky coal miner for not having anything to say about a mine suddenly going bankrupt and 400 workers getting stiffed out of a month’s worth of pay. Moscow Mitch isn’t just anti-American, he’s not even pro-Kentucky.

The only black Republican in the House, Will Hurd, is retiring. He’s the 6th House Republican in 2 weeks to say “I’m outta here.” That leaves a total of 1 black member left in Congress — Senator Tim Scott. Everybody is looking at him like, “Man, what are you still doing here? GET OUT!”

“Now the future of the GOP is Trump’s large adult sons, the Turning Point diaper guy, Tomi Tami Toné, and the festering corpse of Roger Ailes” — Kevin Ganno

Republicans: KEEP OUT.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.