Get Smart

Spike Dolomite
3 min readApr 16, 2019

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders went on Fox News and said that lawmakers aren’t smart enough to read through and understand the many pages of Trump’s tax returns. Sarah wasn’t smart enough not to take a job in the White House.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders also said that Trump will keep “calling out” Congresswoman Ilhan Omar and that he was only joking when he said he loved WikiLeaks.

Lynne Patton, the wedding planner turned Trump HUD official and Congressman Mark Meadows’ token black person, got behind death threats against Congresswoman Ilhan Omar on Instagram which resulted in more death threats. Nancy Pelosi has called for more security for Ilhan. She’s got 3 young children.

Trump tweet: Just out: The USA has the absolute legal right to have apprehended illegal immigrants transferred to Sanctuary Cities. We hereby demand that they be taken care of at the highest level, especially by the State of California, which is well known or its poor management & high taxes!

We hereby demand?

Trump deported an 11 year old girl without her family.

Ivanka Trump went to Ethiopia to “promote women.”

World leaders have all agreed that nobody can trust Trump or the United States anymore so they’re going to have to go it alone. Pretty smart. Pretty sad and pathetic,too.

The redacted report by Bill Barr will be released Thursday morning. It’s not the Mueller Report. It’s the Bill Barr redacted report. Embarrassing material will be blacked out among many other things. There are so many other things that they’ll be color coded. Bill Barr thinks he’s outsmarted Congress and the public.

Release the full, un-redacted Mueller report.

Mitch McConnell pushed for Russian oligarch, Oleg Deripaska, and his company, Rusal to be removed from the sanctions list. Now it is investing $200 million to build a new rolling mill in McConnell’s home state of Kentucky. It would be the largest new aluminum plant built in the US in 40 years. Talk about job security for Mitch. More jobs means more votes. Quite the bonus after Mitch got a $3.5 million cash gift from Oleg Deripaska’s business partner, Len Blavatnik, for his “Senate Leadership Fund” during the 2015–2016 election cycle.

Mitch the Bitch thinks he’s always the smartest guy in the room.

Mitch the Bitch loves Russia. That’s why he’s against the Russia probe.

Mitch the Bitch does not love America.

Chuck Schumer recruited famed fighter pilot, Amy McGrath, to challenge Mitch the Bitch in 2020. She ran for Congress in 2018 and lost, but barely. Amy McGrath is really smart. Really, really smart.

900 year old Notre Dame caught fire. The entire wooden interior has burned. Trump said maybe helicopters could dump water on the flames. Using water to put out a fire. Genius. What will he think of next.

Donald Trump is not smart. He’s like, really dumb.

Democrats are investigating voter suppression and the House Republicans are pissed off. If they don’t suppress, they can’t win. Republicans are nothing but a bunch of conniving smart asses. They’re horrible.

The half wits in Alabama have risen again! Accused pedophile Roy Moore is leading in the GOP primary.

Someone killed themselves in Arlington Cemetery. 20 vets a day commit suicide.

The media is ignoring female presidential candidates and giving all sorts of free coverage to white male candidates.

The media gave Trump non-stop coverage during his campaign. Not too smart.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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