Going Trump

Spike Dolomite
4 min readNov 13, 2020


It’s Friday the 13th in 2020. The last Friday the 13th was March 13 when everybody went on lockdown.

157,000 people have tested positive for the coronavirus. Every day is a new record. This was the 8th straight day of over 100,000 cases. More than 65,000 people are now in the hospital. We’re over the 10 million mark for total infections with over 240,000 deaths. 20 million people are on unemployment. 800 businesses are closing per day. We have 1 million fewer teachers than a year ago. 8 million people have fallen into poverty. 17 million kids are hungry. All because we have a lazy, sadistic sociopath running the country and a ruthless Republican party that goes along with everything he does and says.

“What America is now experiencing is a massive failure of character — a nationwide blackout of integrity — among elected Republicans.” — Michael Gerson

The coronavirus should be our common enemy, but no. Republicans are busy fighting democracy, decency, and truth.

Doctors Without Borders is focusing its aid on the US because the Trump Plague is the largest humanitarian crisis on the planet right now.

The mayor of Chicago has issued a 30 day stay at home advisory.

There are 70,000 cases in El Paso, Texas. 700 deaths. 51% of the patients in hospitals right now are infected with the coronavirus.

South Dakota is a hot spot. It reported 2,019 new cases yesterday. For comparison, that’s like the entire country reporting 750,000 cases in one day.

A cruise ship in the Caribbean has the plague on board. 5 people have tested positive. No doubt they voted for Trump.

Billionaire Trump donors Liz and Richard Uihlein have tested positive.

One of Trump’s former campaign managers, Corey Lewandowski, has tested positive. He’s been busy bringing frivolous lawsuits in states where Trump lost. He was one of the many vultures who attended the super spreader event at the White House on election night.

The chief of staff of the Republican National Committee, Richard Walters, has tested positive.

Alaska Congressman Don Young, Dean of the House, has tested positive. He’s the longest serving member of Congress in history — 47 years. He is also 87 years old.

Trump is mad at Fox. He’s nobody without them but he’s turning on them now too. He vows to start his own media company after he’s dragged out of the White House by his wig and take the Fox audience with him.

A judge has dismissed Trump’s lawsuit against CNN.

The law firm Porter Wright dumped Trump. It decided it wasn’t worth defending him in his federal suit in Pennsylvania because the case is weak and stupid.

After Homeland Security said this election was the most secure in history, 2 officials were forced to resign.

Trump has pretty much beheaded the top of the military and put MAGA boobs in charge — Fox News pundits and an Islamaphobe are now in control of 2.1 million men and women of the armed forces.

MAGAs are planning a million MAGA March in DC and around the country tomorrow so avoid them like the plague. They’re looking for trouble. Let them give each other covid and second amendment each other without giving them any pictures or video of counter protesters yelling at them. STAY HOME.

“At this point Trump is a disgruntled former employee on a rampage to inflict as much carnage & destruction as possible upon the American people and democratic institutions… while he’s shown the door. In the future they won’t call it going postal… they’ll call it ‘Going Trump’.”- Billy Baldwin

68 days until the inauguration.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.