Good Golly Miss Brawly
Trump tweeted about New York: I have been treated very badly by the political leaders of both the city and state.
So up yours New York. I’m taking my brand and moving to Florida. New York jumped up and down at the thought they he won’t be shooting any more people on Fifth Avenue, “Good riddance!”
New York’s governor said Trump changing his residency to Florida is a legal tactic — “It’s a desperate legal move where he’s now going to argue, ‘Well, the state should have no right to my taxes because I moved out.’ It really is a desperate measure. But I think these are desperate times for the president.” Not a good move, but a desperate one.
Speaking of desperate. Trump was so desperate for a pick me up that he did a rally in the dumbest state in the nation last night — Mississippi. A good old fashioned KKK brawl in the deep south. It made him feel good.
Meanwhile in Florida — The Orlando Sentinel’s front page read, OUR ENDORSEMENT FOR PRESIDENT 2020: NOT DONALD TRUMP.
Florida’s homestead laws will protect Mar-a-Lago from bankruptcy proceedings, but they can’t protect Trump from indictment, conviction and, JAIL. It’s all good.
Trump wants to do a fireside chat and read the notes that he calls a transcript of his perfect call with the president of Ukraine as if he was FDR (fucking dumb Republican.) His fireside chats are his tweets but whatever. This ought to be good.
“Lordy, I hope there’s a fireside chat” — Frank Figliuzzi, Former FBI Assistant Director
Chad Wolf is the newest acting secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. He is the key architect of the “zero tolerance” immigration policy. This is bad.
Amigo Rick Perry says he won’t testify. Good. Subpoena his dumb ass and throw him in jail if he blows it off.
Trump’s spiritual adviser and now tax funded government employee, Paula White, preys upon the same gullible simpletons that Trump does. That’s why he brought her in — to be God’s press secretary so he can dictate what God wants them to do for him. Good gawd.
Fox News’ spiritual adviser, Pastor Robert Jeffress, told the same gullible audience “The effort to impeach President Trump is really an effort to impeach our own deeply held faith values.” Onward Christian soldiers! Trump is God! Trump is God!
Goody two shoes former congresswoman from Minnesota, Michele Bachmann, went on Tony Perkins’ TV program, Looking for Mr. Goodbar (aka Washington Watch,) and said that Trump had greater moral clarity than any other president in history. She’s the chair of the Family Research Council. She used to be the most whacked member of congress. Now they’re everywhere.
The World Series winners, the Nationals, whose fans booed Trump publicly, have been invited to the White House on Monday. Closer Sean Doolittle has already declined. His brother in law in autistic and he doesn’t want to be around a president who mocks the disabled. Good on him.
Trump and the Republicans are still obsessed with outing the whistleblower but it’s too late to matter. All that would accomplish is putting their life in danger. Oh wait.
Republicans are running from the press because they can’t answer questions. Congressman Don Young head butted a camera man like a goat while waiting for an elevator.
Goat is good. Send money.
Republican congressman Paul Gosar tweeted out a photo of the German Shepherd that Trump photo shopped next to a photo of Adam Schiff with this caption: Only one of them can be trusted with classified intelligence. Paul Gosar runs the energy and natural resources committee. Good gawd. Gosar is a dentist.
The German Shepherd is a good boy.
Things are going to get really weird and more ridiculous because Trump’s people aren’t smart and he’s very, very guilty. That’s good news for the greater good but it will be painful and scary and embarrassing to watch. There will be dancing in the streets once this is all over. People will party like it’s 1999 when people couldn’t even conceive of a Trump branded government.
The Democrats are good to go.
“Ya know, Trump’s eventual departure from office is going to trigger a liberal baby boom.” — The Hoarse Whisperer
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