Good Luck With That

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 6, 2024

Today is the first day of the 4th week of Trump’s trial. The first thing the judge did today was put him in contempt of court again for violating the gag order for a tenth time after he attacked the jury. He told Trump, “It appears that the $1,000 fines are not serving as a deterrent. The last thing I want to do is to put you in jail. You are the former president of the United States, and possibly the next president as well. There are many reasons why incarceration is truly a last resort for you. At the end of the day, I have a job to do. As much as I do not want to propose a jail sanction, I will, if necessary.”

Good luck with that.

Trump has been warned. The whole world knows he’s going to violate the gag order again so now we just have to wait and see if the judge makes good on his threat. The reality TV star candidate wants all the free media coverage he can get for his campaign so he can introduce his new character, Prisoner Trump and put him out front stage — he is being martyred for the MAGA cause.

The prosecutors say they should be finished in two weeks.

Somebody started a new trend on social media called, RealMenWearDiapers. As liberal luck would have it now Trump’s followers are going to MAGA rallies wearing diapers to own the libs. As if the red hat didn’t make them look stupid enough.

Today’s witnesses are boring — bean counters collaborating the checks written to Cohen.

After the trial ended on Friday Trump said goodbye to everyone and said, “They destroy people. And it’s a shame. So I just want to wish everybody a very good weekend … our country has gone to hell.”

A shooter rushed into a church service in Pennsylvania yesterday and took aim at the pastor with his pistol while he was in the middle of his sermon. At that very moment, a relative lay dead in the shooter’s apartment. A deacon in the church rushed the pulpit and took the shooter down and held him until the cops came. Nobody was hurt. That’s not how things usually end in America. The faithful think God spared them. The congregation wasn’t taken out because the mentally ill shooter didn’t have an AR-15. If the shooter has an AR-15, it all comes down to luck who gets blown away and who doesn’t. Back at the apartment earlier in the day, the neighbors heard the gunshot but shrugged it off. This is America and that was just another gunshot.

In other “just another gunshot news,” a 10 year old in Texas confessed to killing a man 2 years ago when he was visiting his grandfather at a trailer park. He didn’t know the victim, he just took the gun out of the grandfather’s truck, walked into a stranger’s trailer, shot him, then put the gun back in the glove box of the truck. He won’t be arrested because in Texas 8 year olds are too young to commit crimes. He got kicked out of school a couple of weeks ago for threatening to shoot a kid on the school bus. The brother of the neighbor who got killed urged parents to keep an eye on their kids. He didn’t say anything about keeping an eye on their guns or demanding stricter gun laws in Texas.

A mom in Tennessee, Robin Howington, was found guilty for shooting her 5 year old daughter multiple times in 2019. At first, she said that a random Black man came barging into the house then killed her daughter, then she changed her story to say her daughter’s father did it, and then she blamed her 2 year old son.

A 16 year old shot 10 people outside a bar in Florida. Nobody died. Was it a springtime miracle? No. It was luck. Since we can’t get gun laws, we have to settle for gun luck.

In Wisconsin, the cops shot and killed a teenager outside a middle school because they were outside of the school holding a gun.

In Texas, 6 kids ranging between the ages of 3 to 19 years old were shot at an apartment complex.

In Minnesota, state representative Republican Mike Wiener opposed a safe gun storage bill because people die at home for other reasons like choking, falling down, poisoning and freezing to death. “Are we passing a law to prevent deaths from that? Are we making sure bathtubs are two inches high?”

The Tennessee legislature passed a bill that would allow teachers and school staffers to carry concealed handguns in schools.

Good luck with that.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.