Goodbye Girl

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 13, 2021


90 minutes after the Republiqans in the House kicked Liz Cheney out for not being a Trump loving partisan defender of the Big Lie, minority leaders Qevin McCarthy and Mitch McConnell met with the president to dick him around and waste his time. Then they went out and talked to the press and lied their big fat lazy pasty wrinkly white asses off. Qevin McCarthy had the nerve to say “I don’t think anybody is questioning the legitimacy of the presidential election” a couple hours after they kicked Liz Cheney out for not questioning the legitimacy of the election. Goodbye, girl!

They did a voice vote in the basement of the Capitol so there wouldn’t be a record of how each member voted. They didn’t do a secret vote because they were afraid they wouldn’t get the votes.

Liz Cheney voted with Trump 93% of the time. She enabled him to trash our democracy. She’s not a hero. She fell out of favor with the Trump crime family when she refused to follow them over the cliff.

Republiqans cancelled the only woman in House leadership so now they’ll have to replace her with another one so they won’t appear to be sexist. Hello, Elise Stefanik!

“Getting ousted from GOP leadership is like losing the best mattress in a crack house.” — Buddy Winston

Liz Cheney was unknown to most Americans before this all started. Now everybody knows who she is. That’s very bad for the anti-democratic, pro-authoritarian GQP but it’s great news for decent Americans who have been paying close attention to the horrors that Repuliqans have bestowed upon the country for decades. For political junkies who are more informed than the average American, this is political porn. Nasty girl!!!!

“It’s now impossible to accurately describe the GOP in non-alarmist terms. A two-party system in which one of those parties cannot survive without destroying the legitimacy of that system is an emergency. No other word for it.” — Sean Illing

The House Oversight Committee held a hearing on the January 6 insurrection. Former acting defense secretary Christopher Miller (who was appointed by Trump) said, “I agree that it was an act of terrorism.” Attorney General Merrick Garland testified that the insurrection was the “most dangerous threat to our democracy.” QAnon Congressman Paul Gosar defended the insurrectionists, accused the cops of executing Ashli Babbitt, and said the DOJ is “harassing peaceful patriots.” Andrew Clyde said the mob was no big deal — “You’d actually think it was a normal tourist visit.” Ralph Norman thought he was real smart by asking, “Who did a poll to say that they were Trump supporters?”

The coup attempt isn’t over. Trump still says he’s president. The non-loyalists are being ousted, lies and propaganda are being run 24/7 in right wing media, Republiqans are passing voter suppression laws in several key states, partisan gerrymandering is ongoing, and violence is being encouraged.

“Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.” — Frank Zappa

Liz Cheney is a hard core conservative, the daughter of an even harder core conservative and the Republiqans kicked her out because it’s not a legitimate conservative political party anymore. She no doubt has the support of her dad and The Bushes and all their buddies. Trump finally has an outspoken adversary in the GOP. His number one enemy in the Republican Party is a girl.

Trump never was the problem. Republiqans have been clearing the way for him for decades. He’s the inevitable monster that rose up out of a diabolical laboratory. Frankentrump was a foregone conclusion and now it’s time to pay the monster with the Abby Normal brain. While half of the party pays their master, the other half is going their own way. The Republican Party is imploding and splitting in half. 100 conservative Republicans have organized around organizing a third party with Liz Cheney as their leader. She’s their Goodbye Girl.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.