GOP Breakdown

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJun 30, 2022

The Select Committee finally subpoenaed Pat Cipollone, the White House counsel to Trump. He has talked to the committee informally, but now they want him on the record.

Ginni Thomas says she’s no longer willing to testify. She’s too stressed out.

Republicans must be bumping into each other behind closed doors, trying to figure out what talking points they should go with in response to Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony while simultaneously plotting to save themselves. The only thing they have been able to come up with so far is the logistical improbability that Trump could have touched the steering wheel.

“The January 6 Witch Hunt Cabal has now exceeded even its prior fraudulent. The last witness was a reckless liar. Contrary to her false testimony she was never present when I asked for a pardon.” — Rudy Giuliani

Ty Cobb, the lawyer who defended Trump during the Mueller fiasco, says any way you look at it, January 6 was an insurrection. “If this isn’t insurrection, I don’t know what is.”

Documentary filmmaker Alex Holder, who was hired by the Trump crime family to document before, during, and after the coup, is cooperating with the Fulton County DA. He’s already testified before the Select Committee. He has had to hire two armed guards to protect him.

Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years for conspiring with Jeffrey Epstein to recruit and sexually abuse underage girls.

Lev Parnas was sentenced to 20 months in prison for campaign finance and wire fraud, and making false statements. He got off easy because he cooperated with the feds by giving up information about his role in Trump and Rudy’s attempt to extort Ukraine in order to win re-election. The House impeached him for that but his buddies in the Senate voted to acquit which led to a second impeachment for trying to overthrow the government, which the Senate also voted to acquit, which has led to Trump running again in 2024 and quite possibly the end of the world.

The board of directors of Trump’s social media company has been subpoenaed.

Insurrectionist Lauren Boebert won her primary. She hasn’t done one thing for Colorado in 18 months which is OK with her supporters. They voted for guns, babies, Jesus and Trump forever.

The congresswoman who praised Hitler for “being right about the youth” and called the SCOTUS decision on abortion a “victory for white life” won her primary too.

The Sedition Caucus of the GOP is turning on the rest of the party. Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted: Conservative Republican candidates are winning because Republican voters are fed up with a Republican Party that has allowed our country to get to this point. Yes Democrats have wrecked our country since Jan 2021, but the slow slide happened through Republican failures.

At a press conference Marjorie Taylor Greene told a British reporter to go back to her country when asked about children being afraid to go to school because of guns.

The Don’t Say Gay law is taking effect in Florida. LGBTQ teachers in Orange County have been told to take down photos of their same-sex spouses in their classrooms and not talk about them to students. All rainbow articles of clothing are banned.

The feds have arrested 800 people for attacking the Capitol on January 6. Florida wins the prize for the most arrests. 87 have been arrested so far. Enrique Tarrio is the most famous seditious Floridian. He’s the director of Latinos for Trump and the chair of the Proud Boys.

Trump is a south Florida retiree. Think about that.

Speaking of how lame Florida is, Mark Meadows has an AA degree from the University of South Florida. His legacy will be rising to become the leader of the Sedition Caucus (FKA the Freedom Caucus) and then Trump’s chief of staff where he would hire a 23 year old intern to run his office who would rise up to be the only one in the Republican party with any guts and integrity. Her legacy will be taking down Trump.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.