Governing in Plain Sight

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 6, 2021

--

Stephen Miller posted a photo of himself standing next to Trump who was sitting at his country club desk with a bottle of Coke hidden badly behind his phone. Trump isn’t giving up Coke. He’s hiding it in plain sight just like he has everything else.

Great news for Democrats and the American people! The parliamentarian said the Dems can use budget reconciliation 2 more times for this fiscal year so they don’t need 10 repugs to vote for the infrastructure bill. They just need Joe Manchin.

Republiqans have said there is no way they’d support Biden’s infrastructure plan without even looking at it. Both the covid and infrastructure plans have bipartisan support with the country, just not in Washington. If Biden can’t get bipartisan support from the Republiqans then he’s going to have to find a way around them because he’s not messing around. Things are urgent and time is running out. Get out of the way, repugs. There’s a bunch of bridges that need fixing and new jobs to be had.

Mitch McConnell, the biggest defender of “corporations are people” in politics, has a warning for CEOs now that they’re taking a stand against voter suppression: Stay out of politics.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The 2003 Supreme Court case McConnell v. FEC was filed by Mitch McConnell because he didn’t believe that federal laws should limit corporations’ ability to spend money influencing elections (in other words — buy elections for Republicans.)

Governor Gregg Abbott protested the MLB for moving the All Star Game from Atlanta by refusing to throw out the ceremonial first pitch of the season. That’s not why he did it. He used it as an excuse to not get booed by 40,000 people who nearly froze to death and died because of him.

Governor Brian Kemp is still hot under the confederate collar about being held accountable for signing Jim Crow into law. He wouldn’t be governor today if Georgia had fair elections. He just me made them even less fair.

Montana MAGA thug Governor Greg Gianforte has tested positive for covid 19.

Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida has had to put one county under a state of emergency because a reservoir with millions of gallons of contaminated, radioactive wastewater is about to collapse. Residents have been evacuated.

Governor Newsom of California is facing a MAGA recall. One of their claims is that he has done a terrible job with covid. California has the lowest covid rate in the country right now which means the MAGAs are going to have to recall their covid recall claim.

Shocking news — a Republican governor is not a cruel, ruthless, heartless, transphobic, mid-evil monster. Asa Hutchinson of Arkansas vetoed a bill that would have banned gender confirming treatments for transgender youths in the state. He has made history by saying something was “government overreach” for the right reason.

40% of white evangelicals are refusing to get vaccinated which has nothing to do with the vaccine and everything to do with politics. Too bad they don’t go to church or they could give it to each other and Darwin themselves right out existence.

Anti vaxxers have accused Krispy Kreme of discrimination for giving a free donut to anyone who got vaccinated. Krispy Kreme was like, “Um, OK.”

Fox News’ gun loving booby blonde, Toni Lauren, tweeted: Received a tip that children’s hospitals around the country are getting vans of illegal kids sent to be vaccinated….can anyone confirm?

Yes!!!! There were so many buses they took up all of the parking spots so nobody could get into the hospital for ANY reason! And after they gave the kids the shots they gave them each an AMEX gold card with no limit with Biden’s signature on it! Plus they got instant citizenship, a brand new house in an all white neighborhood, a convertible, and private chef!

Republiqans are shocked that Jill Biden wore fish net stockings but didn’t have any problem googling “naked pictures of Melania Trump.”

It’s been 77 days of governing in plain sight with class, humility, competency, compassion, and making history in fish net stockings.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

No responses yet