Guttersnipe

Spike Dolomite
5 min readSep 22, 2019

--

Rudy and Trump are really freaking out over on Twitter. They’ve gone from we’re innocent to ya so what to the whistleblower is a partisan Democrat out to get him to the whistleblower is a spy and Trump is going to get him, all in 48 hours.

Serhiy Leshchenko is a Ukrainian journalist and a former member of parliament who had to withdraw his name from consideration as a member in newly elected President Zelensky’s new cabinet after Rudy Giuliani smeared him for getting in the way of Rudy meeting with the new president to ask him to intervene in an American election to benefit Trump. Rudy went on Fox News and called him a criminal and an agent for the Democratic party. Now Serhiy Leshchenko has written an op-ed in the Washington Post about his experience with Rudy and Paul Manafort and is very eager to testify before Congress. “Giuliani is not only deceiving American citizens. He’s not only intervening in Ukrainian politics, smearing parliamentarians and officials of the presidential administration. He’s also trying to drag the new president of Ukraine into an American election.”

Trump is now owned by both the president of Ukraine and the president Russia and they’re both enemies.

Meanwhile the Democrats are like, “I don’t know……it sounds bad but what can we really do about it……let’s just wait and see…….do we have all the facts?……….can we get people to testify?……..What if they don’t cooperate? …..maybe we better wait until the 2020 election.” SAY WHAT?!!!!! Trump is so immune from consequences that he can’t even get kicked off of Twitter and that’s pretty easy to do.

“History will look back and determine that the fact Trump got this far into his presidency without being impeached was a serious failure of the nature and character of the US Congress and a sign our checks and balances do not work nearly as well as they should.” — David Rothkopf

During climate protest week, Republican Congressman Steve Scalise hosted a Gas and Oil Industry dinner, MSNBC aired Jacob Soboroff’s story about Guatemalans fleeing to the US because climate change has killed their crops and they are starving, and Mike Pence barreled through pristine government protected land on Mackinac Island in Michigan which has banned cars for more than a century. Pence showed up and drove around in an 8-vehicle gas guzzling all black motorcade, barreling through public land. If that doesn’t symbolize the Republicans, nothing does. GET OUT OF OUR WAY! ENTITLED WHITE MEN COMING THROUGH! THIS IS OUR ISLAND! MOVE! GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS ALL MINE!

Glacier National Park’s glaciers are melting fast. Anybody who wants to see them better go soon.

“Did the Amazon stop burning or did we stop caring?” — Red T. Raccoon

For the first time in human history, the youth are begging the elders to leave them an inhabitable planet and laws to protect them so they won’t be murdered at school or a football game.

After a fight broke out between players at a peewee football game in Fort Worth, Texas one of the moms got so mad she called her older son and he got in his car with his gun and drove to the ball field and started shooting at people.

Also in Texas — the teacher who tried to contact Trump to have her students deported has been fired. Her name is Georgia Clark and she wants her job back.

Cops in Orlando, Florida arrested a 6 year old little girl for throwing a tantrum in her first grade class. They handcuffed her, put her in a police car, took her mug shot, and locked her up in a juvenile detention center. She is black.

A 3 year old migrant child vomited blood for 3 days while detained in one of Trump’s detention camps in Pennsylvania before being taken to the hospital.

The military spent more than originally thought on lodging and dining at Trump’s Turnberry club in Scotland and the Prestwick airport nearby has been saved from bankruptcy by the American taxpayer. It received $6.5 million from the US government in 2018 but nothing between 2008 and 2017.

A US Marine unit wants to hold its annual ball at Mar-a-Lago.

Trump says the military didn’t have any ammunition when he took office, that his crimes (yes, he said “my crimes”) can’t be investigated while he’s president, and that we’re going to Mars. Very soon. “We’re going to Mars. We’re stopping at the moon. The moon is actually a launching pad. That’s why we’re stopping at the moon. I said, ‘hey, we’ve already done the moon. That’s not so exciting.’ They said, ‘no sir, it’s a launching pad for Mars.’”

Just when America thought they could exhale and take another breath because Trump was preoccupied with golf this weekend, he tweeted about spies, Obama and the Clintons: “It appears that an American spy in one of our intelligence agencies may have been spying on our own president. The complaint suggests that this intel agent was listening in on Trump’s conversation with a foreign leader. Was this person officially asked to listen to the conversation or was he or she secretly listening in?……..The pretend Ukraine scandal is another malicious seditious effort to protect the Obama/Clinton gang. Criminal classified leaks and spying targeting Trump — again.”

America and the world can’t take much more of this. Democrats need to get down off of that high road and meet the Swamp Thing where he lives — in the gutter.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.Trump is re-tweeting Clinton killed Epstein conspiracy theories.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

No responses yet