Happy Memorial Day!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 25, 2020


It’s Memorial Day and Trump desecrated the Arlington National Cemetery on TV by showing up for a solemn ceremony traditionally performed by actual patriots and leaders. He laid the wreath to honor those who gave all when he himself has not only given nothing, but he has taken, stolen, and cheated.


Happy Memorial Day? He did the same thing last year and either nobody in his ass kissing administration told him not to do something so tacky and clueless, or they did tell him and he doesn’t give a shit.

Another Memorial Day, another Happy Memorial Day tweet from the president of the United States.

“You do not wish people a ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ There is nothing happy about Americans dying. There is nothing happy about death caused from endless wars based on greed and hate. There is nothing happy at all. We do not celebrate this day, we reflect, remember, and honor.” — Travis Akers

More than 12,000 veterans have been admitted to the VA with the coronavirus. 1,000 have died.

The Trump campaign plans to fly “Keep America Great” banners over US beaches today.

Trump is scheduled to visit Fort McHenry in Baltimore today but the mayor has asked him not to. He’s not welcome there.

“This is definitely the “balloons on the mailbox” presidency.” — Randy Rainbow

Trump is threatening Charlotte, North Carolina, with pulling the Republican National Convention in August if the city doesn’t reopen it’s economy right now and guarantee him that the event will take place there. Otherwise, he’s taking his MAGA rally somewhere else.

“Every responsible leader — governors, mayors, school superintendents, college presidents… — are carefully planning multiple contingencies for the fall, given the deadly contagion. But death cult leader Trump? He’s demanding the NC governor guarantee an in-person GOP convention now.” — Steven Beschless

Trump didn’t attend church yesterday even though he ordered them to be opened. He golfed. People noticed and were disgusted. He spent a good chunk of time defending his right to “exercise” on Twitter. It was disgusting.

Trump wants kids back in school ASAP.

An armed MAGA in camouflage pants hung an effigy of the governor of Kentucky from a tree outside of the governor’s mansion. Kids were there. His little crowd of dumbed down haters yelled for the governor to come outside.

People in South Florida are contracting the coronavirus through its wastewater. The sewage system is so full of the coronavirus from people pooping it out that health officials (who aren’t lying for Trump) are concerned that accidental sewage spills will seep out into neighborhoods through broken sewage lines in flooded streets during major rains, infecting even more people. Honest health officials are also worried that local wastewater agencies aren’t testing their sewage for contamination and therefore aren’t treating it before they dump it into the ocean. South Florida, legal residence of the president, is a Trump Plague dump.

Trump keeps tweeting: OBAMAGATE!

A hot naked blonde in high heels posed in front of Whole Foods wearing nothing but 3 masks. One was used as a g-string to cover her shaved pubic area and the other two were taped on her nipples to demonstrate her loyalty to Trump.

Shoppers in a Staten Island grocery store chased somebody out of the store for not wearing a mask. Fuck that guy. COVID 19 is real.

Our chances of survival depend on the common sense of people who won’t wear a mask for Trump. They’re prepared to die for him, believing that they’re ready to die for their country. No Happy Memorial Day for you.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.