Happy Muthers Day, Mother Fucker
It’s Mother’s Day morning and Trump is ranting on Twitter. No mention of Melanie. Happy Muthers Day, mother fucker.
Mike Pence made a speech at Liberty University to graduates and told them they would be shunned and ridiculed for being a Christian. If they’re the Mike Pence variety Christian then ya, they’ll be shunned and ridiculed AS THEY SHOULD BE. He stood real close to Jerry Falwell Jr, and said that there would be those who will ask Christians not merely to tolerate things that violate their faith, but positively to endorse them. Irony was lost on him. It went right over his big fat head.
“Happy Mother’s Day. A rather upsetting time for Mike Pence, as rumor has it this is the one day out of the year where he is contractually bound to touch his wife’s genitals. He’s horrified, of course — genuinely believing vaginas to contain jaguar teeth. Thoughts & prayers.” — Aiden Wolfe
On Mothers Day, the president is hunkered down in his bathroom, tweeting and tweeting and tweeting and retweeting, just like he did yesterday.
“URGENT Can someone in the White House please check on President Bacon? I think he’s collapsed on the retweet button.” — Andy Lassner
Republican hypocrite fun fact: Mike Pence ran for congress in 1990 and got busted for using campaign funds to pay his mortgage.
Another Republican hypocrite fun fact: Immigrants commit far less crimes than Trump’s White House and campaign staff do.
And another Republican hypocrite fun fact: The repugs want the Mueller thing to wrap up. There were 10 Benghazi investigations. Whitewater lasted 5 years. Both led nowhere and they knew it. The Mueller thing is leading somewhere and they know that too.
Trump is freaking out. Oh, mama!!!!! While he’s accusing Don McGahn of committing a crime by lying to federal investigators, he’s trying to prevent him from testifying under oath before Congress.
#Brokeahontas is trending.
Who is paying Donald Trump? He doesn’t have any money. He’s broke. Where does his money come from? We’ve got to see those tax returns because no doubt that money comes from Russia. Who’s your mommy, Twitler?
Only Trump could lose $1 billion during the 80s when everybody else was rolling in it. He didn’t make any itemized deductions for charitable giving either. Did he blow off giving to charity because he’s a heartless selfish prick or did he blow off giving to charity because he’s a heartless selfish prick AND broke?
Elizabeth Warren has had over 70 town halls, some in deep red MAGA country where Democrats traditionally never go. Keep your eye on Elizabeth Warren. She not only has a lot of excellent policy ideas but she has a plan for EACH ONE. She’s ethical and she’s got guts.
Elizabeth Warren is a mom. She was a single mom, raising two daughters on a really thin budget. She gets it.
Happy Mother’s Day, Senator Warren.
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