Help Wanted

The Reality TV president is headed for El Paso and Dayton today to shoot the next episode of The White House, starring Trump, in the aftermath of TWO mass shootings. Footage and photos of Trump with paramedics and police officers will be used as his Twitter banner later today. Before he left, he took a shot at Beto O’Rourke’s fake Hispanic name and pointed out that the Dayton shooter supported Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and Antifa on Twitter. This guy needs some serious help. And he needs to be impeached.

The last time he was in El Paso was in February when he railed against the “criminal aliens” at his white nationalist rally. El Paso’s congresswoman, Veronica Escobar, said Trump “put the target on our back” and won’t be there when he comes. She’s not going to help him out by posing for a picture with him.

Ted Cruz is in El Paso, “helping.” He’s drilling down on “mental illness”. The guy has an A+ rating from the NRA and wrapped bacon around the barrel of an automatic rifle to get the gun nut vote. He doesn’t belong there. He’s not helping.

The flags on the federal buildings have been flying half mast. They’ll be put them back up tomorrow, 8/8. The number 8 has special significance to neo-nazis and white supremacists which means Stephen Miller probably helped that along.

At a campaign event in Kentucky where Moscow Mitch spoke, some of his supporters, young white horny Republican teen aged boys in matching white Mitch McConnell campaign t-shirts, took a life size cut out of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and took a picture of themselves groping, choking and kissing her with the caption — “break me off a piece of that.” They also carried giant pictures of Brett Kavanaugh’s head. Most of them attend a Christian academy, like Brett Kavanaugh did. When asked to comment, Moscow Mitch’s campaign said, “Boys will be boys.” Just like the Republicans did during Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler sent a letter to the National Archives to ask for it’s help. He requested a complete review and the release of records related to Brett Kavanaugh’s White House service from 2001 to 2006. These are the documents the Republicans refused to seek during Kavanaugh’s confirmation process last year and could prove he lied under oath.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The NRA helped Moscow Mitch by giving him $1.6 million to block expanded background checks.

As Moscow Mitch continues to hide out at home in Kentucky, nursing his broken collar bone, he’s getting more and more freaked out by the protesters gathering outside his house. He is calling it a call to violence. “Help! Help!”

Can Moscow Mitch see Russia from his house? What’s he doing in there?

“The focus on young white men as potential mass shooters should help white men everywhere appreciate why we don’t blame MS-13 on all Latinos, nor jihadists on all Muslims” — Rebecca Lam

The cops in Galveston, Texas busted a black man trespassing so they tied him to a rope and marched him through the streets as they rode on horseback like it was 1935. In contrast, the cops in El Paso, Texas, treated the white man who shot 46 people in Walmart with the upmost respect.

Republicans are having a Devin Nunes cow over Joaquin Castro publishing the names of people who donated to Trump when it’s public information. Smart people know this.

A plus sized MAGA in a bathing suit went off on a Muslim woman while everybody was standing in line to go on a water slide at a theme park in Pennsylvania. She told her to “go back to where she came from.” When the woman whipped out her cell phone and asked her to say it again, she flipped her off, tried to grab her phone and made the kids standing in line cry.

Speaking of Pennsylvania, Republican Senator Pat Toomey won’t vote for any ban on military weapons because they’re “very popular.”

Trump’s campaign signs don’t have Mike Pence’s name on them.

Speaking of Mike Pence, he thinks Americans should spend more time on their knees than on the internet. Perhaps Pence’s name would be on Trump’s signs if he spent more time on his. Heaven helps those who help themselves…..

For the first time since 1940 there are more registered Democrats than Republicans in Orange County, California. The tides are turning, and they’re not red.

Hang in there, America. Help is on the way.

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