Here’s Spit in Your Eye

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 1, 2020
Enraged MAGA sprays spit in the face of a Michigan state trooper at the capitol

MAGAs stormed the capitol in Michigan demanding that Governor Whitmer open the state. No masks, no social distancing, and GUNS. State police had to protect the governor and keep the gunmen from getting access to the house floor. They were white so none of them were arrested or shot. Outside there was an organized pep rally with little girls on stage dancing (one wearing an Obama mask) while yahoos stood guard in their tactical gear and giant guns that they’re dying to get to use.

Trump responded by calling the white terrorists “good people” on Twitter: The Governor of Michigan should give a little, and put out the fire. These are very good people, but they are angry. They want their lives back again, safely! See them, talk to them, make a deal.

The Black Panthers did something similar at the California capitol in 1967. Reagan got gun control passed faster than you could say “black people with guns.”

Trump says that if “Democrat states” want federal funds, “we’re going to have to get something for it.” He was impeached for doing that but whatever.

Republican governor Greg Abbott is reopening Texas today. If workers refuse to show up for work they can’t apply for unemployment. If you aren’t willing and able to work all the days and hours required then you’re a quitter and quitters can’t collect unemployment.

The governor of Maryland called in the National Guard to protect tests that arrived from South Korea at an undisclosed location so that Trump wouldn’t take them.

Trump says he has evidence that the virus started in a Chinese lab. He had to have seen that on Fox News.

Trump says he’s in charge of Operation Warp Speed. We’ll have 300 million COVID 19 vaccines by January. I’m Superman! Here comes the cure! And it’s all because of ME!

Trump is failing at trying to get people to believe he gives a shit. “I don’t think anybody can feel any worse than I do about all of the death and deconstruction that’s so needless. Nobody…Nobody is thinking about it more. Nobody has spent more time late in the evening thinking about what’s happened to this country.”

He’s a liar. We have the tweets to prove it. He doesn’t sit up at night thinking about anything. He attacks people and defends himself on Twitter. People dying, grieving, starving, panicking, crying…….it means NOTHING to him.

900 workers at a Tyson meat plant in Indiana have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Today is May 1st, the start of a new month. Things are getting tighter and scarier. People can’t pay their rent because they have no income and no savings. There will be rent strikes in Los Angeles, New York and Philadelphia today. Essential workers are getting sick of being sacrificed for the rest of us so they’ll be striking too.

There are 9–14 million who are unemployed but can’t apply for unemployment so they’re not being counted.

Don’t look to the Republicans for any help. Lindsey Graham said that Congress will extend a coronavirus unemployment benefit “over our dead bodies.”


Despite devastation with infection, death, unemployment and the crippled economy, the S&P had its best month since 1987. How can that be? Because Trump gave billions to publicly traded companies through the PPP program, sticking it to the little guy that the program was designed to help.

We paid tribute to those who had perished in 9/11. We read their names, we showed their pictures, we told stories, we lit candles, we grieved together. Trump has done nothing to honor the dead now. He said he has talked to a few families which is nothing and probably a lie.

Dead Americans are just numbers to Trump, not people. “Our death totals, our numbers, per million people, are really very, very strong. We’re very proud of the job we’ve done.”

Really? Have you asked the widows, children, parents, and siblings of the deceased if they’re proud of the job “they” have done? Because they feel just as forgotten as those they loved who were left to suffer and die alone.

“It’s insane that there does not seem to be any kind of national mourning. We don’t read names off on TV every night. 60,000 souls lost in a month and the lines drawn in our society and culture haven’t moved an inch.” - Zach Heltzel

Here’s spit in your eye.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.