Hide and Seek

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 28, 2018

Trump has been in isolation for several days, avoiding the media and the real world. He hasn’t picked a fight on Twitter for awhile. It’s not because he found Jesus. He’s just hiding.

“We have an elderly shut in as president” — Roland Scahill

Trump came out of hiding to go to a private dinner with sleaze baguettes who keep giving him money, hosted by the America First super PAC at the home of developer Giuseppe Cecchi, the guy who built the Watergate Hotel.

Stormy Daniels is suing Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, for defamation. Stormy Daniels has a really good attorney. Trump does not.

“A marriage is supposed to be between a man, his mistress, a rolled-up magazine, his lawyer, his daughter, his porn star, his publicist, his Russian dictator and his wife” — Mikel Jollett

A group of Trump groupies sat in somebody’s living room and let themselves be filmed on CNN as the face of Idiot Nation — God fearing Christian ladies who will forgive Trump anything because he was sent by God, proving once again, that it’s perfectly fine for the President of the United States to have sex with porn stars, Playboy models, prostitutes, camels, whatever, because Jesus forgives him because he is a Republican. Jesus doesn’t forgive Democrats.

Speaking of weirdos believing that Trump was sent by God — Liberty University is making a movie about Mark Taylor, a former firefighter who claims that God told him that Donald Trump would be president while he was watching Fox News in 2011. He wrote a book, “The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story Of The Man Who Saw Tomorrow… And What He Says Is Coming Next.” Fox News viewers bought it, making him a modern day profit. He claims that God told him that 2 out of the 5 living former presidents will die as punishment for criticizing Trump. The other 3 will be imprisoned and possibly executed for treason. Also, Trump has the cures for cancer and Alzheimer’s disease and will release them during his second term in office. He says that the Freemasons and the Illuminati sent the hurricanes to Florida and Texas to punish people who voted for Trump. He says they are changing people’s DNA in order to make them hate Trump rendering them incapable of seeing that God is using him to save America. The film is expected to be released in October.

Republican Senator John McCain is writing a memoir which comes out in May. He blasts the current developments in Washington. Will he take any responsibility for the Republicans duping crazy evangelicals into believing that Republicans were sent by God? Will he admit that the GOP is responsible for the rise of Trump?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: John McCain’s daughter, Meghan McCain, is offended by teenagers using the word “fuck” when talking about almost getting shot at school and their friends being murdered. Meghan McCain’s twitter profile page has #fuckcancer on it. More proof that anything is OK as long as Republicans do it.

Trump is adding a citizenship question to the Census 2020 defeating the purpose of the census altogether. Undocumented residents aren’t going to answer that question honestly and millions of others may refuse to take the census altogether because that question is on there. When asked about it, Sarah Huckabee Sanders lied. She said that that question has been on the census for decades. It hasn’t been on the census since 1950.

The Democrats are really worried that Trump will try and fire Mueller during the Passover/Easter weekend when Congress is gone. They’ve drafted a letter asking the line of succession in the Justice Department to pledge not to follow through with any orders that they might get from Trump telling them to fire the special counsel that is looking into the president for treason.

We kicked out 60 Russian diplomats and Russia is pissed. Trump has said nothing but his spokesperson said he’s still open to working with Russia.

Kim Jong-un went to China for a day, shook the president’s hand and said he’s ready to give up nuclear weapons if South Korea and the US respond “with goodwill.” He is ready for peace around the world. Trump is taking credit for his maximum pressure campaign on North Korea.

North Korea, China, and Russia are closing in on Trump. They’ve got him right where they want him. He’s got nowhere to hide.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.