Holey Trinity

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 19, 2019


Trump autographed Bibles

While Americans remain too lazy to read the Mueller Report and choose to zone out in their own little worlds, 1.7 million people took to the streets in the pouring rain in Hong Kong not for the 3rd week, but for the 11th consecutive week…..22% of the population! If that happened in the US, it would mean more than 70 million people would show up for America. The people of Hong Kong see democracy as something worth fighting for. Americans, on the other hand, are preoccupied with themselves, just like their president.

Holey Moley.

Trump’s response to the protesters in Hong Kong? “I’d like to see Hong Kong worked out in a very humanitarian fashion.” Someone needs to ask that fucker about what he knows about the last 100 years of Hong Kong ON CAMERA because he has no idea. The people of Hong Kong don’t want to go from living in a free and prosperous society to being controlled and oppressed by the government. Duh. And if Americans would stop with the empty holey capitalistic trinity (shopping, watching TV, and staring at their phones) for a minute they would realize they don’t want to either!!!!! Duh duh duh!

Trump is working on his plan to blame everybody else for the coming recession because he knows that this is the thing that could actually take him down. If voters don’t care about human rights abuses, the president being a criminal, treason, or the blowing up the US government, they’ll care about their money. He’s already tweeting about a conspiracy of the holey trinity (news media, other countries, and the Federal Reserve) working together to undermine him and derail the economy. Stupid people who believe anything he says will believe it but the greedy people who don’t care about anything else but their money are smart enough to know what’s going on here. It’s a shame they didn’t care sooner. That makes America look pretty bad.

$2.3 million worth of pot was seized at the border. It wasn’t discovered inside the pockets or purses of desperate moms and their kids fleeing murder and torture in a never ending civil war that the US created 3 decades ago, but by savvy drug dealers shipping 4 tons of pot in trucks full of jalapeño peppers.

US Senator Lindsey Graham says that Trump’s 3rd term is looking better and better.

Authorities prevented 3 mass shootings in different states from being carried out. By who? White men in their early twenties OF COURSE.

Dick Cheney is not only going to attend a fundraiser for Trump, he and his daughter, Congresswoman Liz Cheney, are co-hosting it. It’s their party! Get it? Their party!!!!

Kellyanne Conway on pending recession: Nothing to see here. Move along!

Iceland held a funeral for its first glacier lost to climate change.

Larry Kudlow, Trump’s economic adviser, did an interview with Fox and was drunk off his ass. SHNOCKERED. He reassured Fox viewers that the economy was just fine and that he might run the Central Bank if Trump buys Greenland.

“The difference between Donald Trump and Greenland? Greenland is not for sale.” Senator Amy Klobacher

Trump’s latest press secretary, drunken what’s her face, hasn’t done a press briefing yet. It’s been over 2 months and nobody knows what her voice sounds like, except maybe Larry Kudlow.

“America is so fucked up that there is a felon, a white supremacist, and a demagogue in the White House and people are actually complaining about the next president being too liberal.” Ryan Knight

Trump’s holey trinity — the father, two sons, and the wholly boast. A presidency full of holes that’s full of shit.

There are 3 types of voters who will never abandon Trump: The rich who don’t care about anything but their money, the hateful white bigoted evangelicals, and racists. Money, religion and race. The 3 things we’re not supposed to talk about.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.