Holly Folly Xmas

The Third Lady made an obligatory visit to a children’s hospital to read a fucking Creeezmus story to very sick children with weak immune systems and ripped off her mask to do it.

Mike Pompeo’s holiday party was a total flop. He invited 900 people and only 70 RSVP’d. Fewer than that actually showed up. He cancelled his big speech he was going to make because he didn’t want to look stupid. What happened to all the left over food that tax payers paid for? Did it go to the people who have been evicted because they lost their jobs due to the Trump Plague or to starving military families?

Rudy the brown nosed reindeer lied and said he ran into the reindeer in front of him but what really happened was he got his nose stuck up Trump’s butt.

Trump hasn’t said anything about Russia hacking us to steal US secrets, putting bounties on our troops’ heads, or meddling in our election.

Moscow Mitch has finally admitted that Joe Biden won but not before Putin acknowledged it first. He has been the Senate majority leader for 2174 days and hasn’t done one thing for the American people. Not one thing. His legacy will be sabotaging our first black president, blocking everything and not passing any legislation, packing the courts with lifetime appointments with very conservative judges, and holding on to power at all costs. At ALL costs.

Military families have been going to food banks because Trump, the Republicans, and Moscow Mitch don’t give a shit about military families. The richest country in the world with the most powerful military in the world is forcing its troops and their families to seek out charity to survive. Republicans are against SNAP (being hungry in the richest country in the world is your own damn problem — no government handouts!) Merry Christmas!

While Trump was telling everybody that the coronavirus wasn’t that big of a deal after he got out of the hospital, his White House security director, Crede Bailey, was stuck in the hospital with a bad case of the virus, fighting for his life. He has been in the hospital since September. He lost his right lower leg from it and is now permanently disabled. Crede’s Christmas is really going to stuck, especially since he’ll have to listen to Trump and the Republicans keep insisting that it’s no big deal.

McCarthyism 2.0 — Kevin McCarthy, Republican minority leader in the House, is full on with the MAGA conspiracy theories and is one of the biggest liars in Congress. There isn’t any more room for people with the coronavirus in hospitals in his district and he’s still playing it down in order to play up his loyalty to Trump. He’s guilty of politicizing a deadly pandemic. Christmas is going to suck in Bakersfield, California.

“I could live a million years and I’d never understand people willing to destroy American democracy for the guy from The Apprentice.” — Bryan Behar

Trump wants a special prosecutor for Hunter Biden. How is he going to do that without Santa Clause, Bill Barr?

Jeffrey Rosen is taking over for Bill Barr. He’s worse. He’ll help exact revenge on Trump’s enemies and pardon his allies just in time for Christmas.

There was a mysterious lull in the death count from the coronavirus in Florida before the election. It didn’t go down. Someone lied to help Republicans win. Christmas in Florida is going to be worse than in Bakersfield.

Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, is saying that restaurants don’t cause the coronavirus to spread because he wants people spending money. This is the same logic as guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Ba, humbug! DeSantis went to Harvard.

Besides Ron DeSantis, here are a few more Republicans who also went to Harvard: George W. Bush, Mike Pompeo, Tom Cotton, Ted Cruz, Dan Crenshaw, and Pat Toomey. How did they get in and how did they graduate? USC has been outed for taking financial bribes from rich and famous parents with mediocre kids. How do these mediocre white men manage to get invited to hoity toity Christmas parties with Harvard alums?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans have branded Democrats who are highly educated as elitists and snobs so that their voters with high school diplomas and GEDs will feel superior to liberals and keep voting for Republicans even though they’re all highly educated elitist snobs with mysterious diplomas from Harvard.

The last time Trump had a cabinet meeting was May 19. He hasn’t done a damn things since then but bitch, lie, tweet, call in to Fix News, golf, and commit crimes. While Donald J. Scrooge is consumed with hatred, vengence and planning his revenge, millions of Americans face the worst holiday season of their lives. He’s having a cabinet meeting today. All of his cabinet meetings have been televised Dear Leader praise circles. Today they’re all going to get a lump of coal and slap in the face. But first they’ll have to make Trump feel like he was born to save the world and it’s his birthday.

855 hours until the folly ends.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.