Home Alone

Spike Dolomite
5 min readNov 14, 2020
MAGA idiot shows up in uniform for the Civil War. “Trump 2020!”

Trump finally emerged from the White House where he has been flopping for 4 years and spoke publicly for the first time in a week. As usual, he patted himself on the back a number of times and took cheap shots at Pfizer and Governor Cuomo. He didn’t concede or admit defeat. He didn’t acknowledge the rise in coronavirus cases or give any sympathy for the dead (the virus is out of control — 172,000 new cases in one day) nor did he have any advice for the country on what to do. He just said that his administration wouldn’t issue any lockdowns — “Hopefully the…..whatever happens in the future, who knows which administration is will be will also not go to a lockdown.” He’s pissed that people aren’t giving him credit for 2 million people not dying from the coronavirus. He saved millions from death. Millions! He’s a hero!!! Where’s the gratitude? After awhile he’d had enough, turned his back on reporters, and headed back home a few feet away, to hide out again, all alone.

More than 130 secret service officers (10% of the core security team) have the coronavirus because Trump is a spoiled brat sadist who makes them escort him to never ending covid crockpot crackpot MAGA rallies so he could get his narcissistic fix and keep telling his cult followers that the Democratic hoax will be old fake news after election day.

“These brave men and women are willing to take a bullet for the President but he won’t wear a mask for them.” — Joyce Alene

More than 10 court employees at different courthouses in New York City have tested positive.

Stay home!

The positivity rate is New York City is up to 2.8%, which means kids are headed for homeschool because schools are more than likely going to be shut down. In Los Angeles, schools never opened. Kids have been learning remotely since March.

Trump is pissed off that his hometown partied so heavily in the streets after Biden won so he announced that he won’t be sending any coronavirus vaccine to New York.

The Trump administration refuses to communicate with the Biden team about the pandemic out of spite. That and they don’t have anything to report because they aren’t doing anything about it at all. The Trump administration hasn’t been communicating regularly with governors, either. They don’t even pretend to be interested. The lights are on but nobody is home.

The idiot governor of North Dakota, which is on fire from the coronavirus because of him, has finally relented and made masks mandatory. He won’t tell people to stay home though, because Trump doesn’t want him to.

The governor of Connecticut is staying home to quarantine because a staff member tested positive.

Newly elected hometown girl and QAnon nut, Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia won’t wear a mask in Congress . She tweeted: Our first session of New Member Orientation covered COVID in Congress. Masks, masks, masks….I proudly told my freshman class that masks are oppressive.In GA, we work out, shop, go to restaurants, go to work, and school without masks. My body, my choice. #FreeYourFace

The final electoral count was announced on Friday the 13th — Biden got 306 electoral votes and Trump got 232. When Trump got 304 electoral votes in 2016 he boasted that it was a landslide, historical victory.

Biden won a majority of the popular vote — with the strongest showing against an incumbent (50.8%) since Roosevelt beat Hoover in 1932 during the Great Depression, that like Trump, he created. Home run! He won the election with the most votes in American history and Trump, being the con artist fraud lifelong loser that he is, is contesting it, wanting people to believe that HE got more votes than any other president in history.

Trump put Rudy Giuliani in charge of his campaign lawsuits because nobody else will do it. He’ll be handling the public relations too so look for his next press conference to be at the Marriott Supreme Courtyard. Go home, Rudy. You’re drunk.

Trump discontinued his voter fraud hotline because he got too many prank calls. Phone home, loser?

Where is Trump going to go once he’s evicted? Where will he call home? New York doesn’t want him. He could hide out at Mar-a-Lago where he’s registered to vote but there aren’t enough MAGAs who live around there who can give him the daily attention he craves because home prices are too high.

Ivanka Trump thinks she can go home again. She plans on moving back to New York where she expects to “reclaim her socialite status.” Now that’s a reality TV show that would be worth watching.

The Million MAGA March in DC was a flate white line. Angry white supremacists in MAGA hats waving Trump flags tore up Black Lives Matters posters off of the fencing outside of the White House screaming, “It’s not over!” Trump timed his exit from the White House to go golf this morning to coincide with the start of the march but a million MAGAs didn’t show up. Press Secretary Barbie is screaming from the rooftops that a million people showed up, just like Sean Spicer did about the inauguration when the whole shit show started. But if you go up on the roof and look out, you’ll see it’s only several thousand and no Antifa to beat up. Thankfully, anybody inclined to counter protest these dangerous buffoons stayed home so they didn’t give the Proud Boys and the QAnon kooks the fight they were looking for.

67 days until the inauguration.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.