Home for Christmas
$600. We’re rich!
Congress finally passed a relief bill. We’re getting $600 so we won’t be homeless for Christmas! New Zealanders got $600 a week until they could return to work.
Scrooge McConnell is worth $22.5 million and thinks that $600 should be plenty for plebeians to pay for back rent and mortgages, high winter electric bills, keeping their phones on in case they need to call 9–1–1 if they get really sick from covid, and a couple of cases of boxed macaroni and cheese to get them through the next 6 months. In his speech on the Senate floor he said Americans are getting the help they need after waiting for months.
Americans have waited for months because of him. Only one filthy rich old white man stood between boxed macaroni and cheese and homelessness — Scrooge McConnell.
Mitch McConnell is on everybody’s Christmas shit list, even Trump. He sent out a mob style email to all Republican members of Congress to take credit for McConnell’s election victory in Kentucky. He’s nobody without me. Did The Don do this to remind all Republicans that they’re nobody without him? Is this a warning never to betray the family? Because he’s got dirt on all of them.
Nancy Pelosi and the White House were close to a deal for a $2 trillion package that included $1,200 stimulus checks and unemployment insurance and Scrooge McConnell killed it. Filthy rich white men shouldn’t be able to make these laws if they think that $600 will make a difference. He did it for the voters in Georgia. Here’s $600 just in time for Christmas — vote for Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue!
In the relief bill, Trump gets $1.4 billion for his stupid wall. New rounds of PPP will be made, too. In the last relief bill Republicans voted against transparency so they and their rich friends could get some of that money. Trump and Kushner businesses got nearly $4 million, mega church snake oil salesman Joel Osteen got $4.4 million, and lunatic MAGAman Kanye West got between $2–5 million. Record keeping is such a mess that an audit can’t even be done so we’ll never know who else got some of that $670 billion.
Joe Biden demonstrated strong leadership by getting vaccinated on TV. Trump demonstrated weak leadership by blowing the roll out of the vaccine. He barely mentioned it at all. He’s preoccupied with the coup, signing executive orders that mandate that classical architecture be the default style in DC and that all new federal construction be “beautiful,” and fantasizing about which airports will be named after him. He’s been holding meetings in the Oval Office with crackpot conspiracy theorists, a convicted felon, Mike Flynn, who thinks the military should be used to redo the election (let’s make people vote again at gun point,) and his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, who is now under federal investigation.
The feds want the electronic communications of the president’s personal attorney. Rudolf the brown nosed reign deer is going to jail.
Trump appointees at the CDC have been subpoenaed for their involvement in screwing up the response to a worldwide deadly pandemic.
White House insiders are freaking out because Trump is crazier than ever, obsessed with over turning the election. He’s denying that Russia hacked us, even though his crooked, loyal attorney general, Bill Barr, and his crooked, loyal secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, say they did. He’ll only talk and listen to nut jobs who will stroke his delusional ego. Trump’s presidency is ending the way it started — deferring to Putin with Mike Flynn in the Oval Office.
Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight. Please hurry.
Meanwhile, over in right wing weirdo land, election fraud is still the top story and Smartmatic, a company that makes voting machines supposedly under the direction of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, is being accused of helping Biden steal the election. The only place that used Smartmatic voting machines was Los Angeles but Fix News, Newsmax and OANN viewers don’t know that. The company has filed a defamation lawsuit. Fox is rich and powerful enough to fight it but Newsmax and OANN aren’t. Ho ho ho ho ho!
Senator Joni Ernst from Iowa cut in line ahead of frontline workers to get vaccinated after accusing doctors of lying about the pandemic to make money off of it.
Defenders of Republicans jumping the line to get vaccinated say it’s to ensure that the government can run. The absurd irony of that argument is that Republicans keep the government from running.
Everybody who is getting $600 will have to wait until summer or fall to get vaccinated to make room for Republicans and all of the rich people buying their way to cut in the front of the line.
The TSA has been screening over 1 million people daily for the last 4 days. People are blowing off stay at home orders and are traveling for Christmas. They could get stuck wherever they fly to and not be able to get back home after Christmas if states go on lockdown. The new mutated strain is so bad it could blind you. That’s what they get for refusing to see that their selfishness is spreading the virus. Blinded by the flight.
By the time Bing Crosby finishes singing “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” 10 people will have died from the Trump Plague. Stay the fuck home.
29 days until we can get back home.
