Houses of the Wholey

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 6, 2021

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A Black man and a Jewish man, both Democrats, have just been elected to the US Senate in the former confederate southern state of Georgia, thanks to years of grassroots organizing and voters rights activism by black women. 2 of the richest members in the Senate have been defeated, both colonial white, after Republicans have won every run off election in Georgia for 30 years.

This is a win for the fight for civil rights over the past 60 years as well. Reverend Raphael Warnock, the preacher at Martin Luther King’s old church has been declared the winner and Jon Ossoff, former staffer for the late great Congressman John Lewis who marched with Martin Luther King, Jr., will be declared the winner later today.

Newly elected Senator Warnock said, “This is the reversal of the old southern strategy that sought to divide people.”

The only reason why the south has remained red for so long is because of voter suppression.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.

The John Lewis Voting Rights Act.

Jon Ossoff will be the youngest Democratic senator since Joe Biden in 1973.

Today, everything changes. Democracy has survived. People’s lives are going to get better, including the lives of the hateful idiot MAGAs who have made life so miserable for their neighbors, co-workers, families and the poor cashier at the grocery store, but they’ll never admit it. They’ll keep chanting “Trump 2020” and blame everything on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama until the day they die of covid.

Democracy was saved during a deadly pandemic. People literally risked their lives to vote. As shitty as everything has been for 4 years, progress was being made all along. We just haven’t been able to reflect on it much because Trump has been hogging everyone’s attention every damn day.

Trump is totally losing it on Twitter this morning. He’s counting on chaos today to take the media attention away from Georgia. He tweeted last night: Washington is being inundated with people who don’t want to see an election victory stolen by emboldened Radical Left Democrats. Our Country has had enough, they won’t take it anymore! We hear you (and love you) from the Oval Office. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

MAGAs have been summoned by Trump and the Republican Seditionists to DC today to “Stop the Steal!” Trump is expected to go outside and address his fans some time today. Last night they did a run through in the streets of DC practicing their take over Washington with no street experience, no situational awareness, and no background in police tactics. They got pepper sprayed, shot with rubber bullets, and arrested. They’re like dried puffer fish you can buy in beach souvenir shops. It’s all for show and fun to watch.

Trump has claimed another brand as his own — he’s calling all Republicans who aren’t seditionists RINOs — Republicans in Name Only. It used to be that RINO meant “not a selfish greedy war loving prick.” It’s fun to watch.

It’s going to be so much fun watching Republicans flop around on the blue earth like fish (pariahs) out of water.

It’s going to be fun watching Trump desperately try to convince everyone that he’s Poseidon when all the Republicans flopping around on dry land really care about is finding their way back to the water before they suffocate to death.

It’s going to be fun watching idiot MAGAs begging for an encore from their Reality TV President. The irony of Trump chanting “Make America Great Again” at the very end of his first and only term is lost on his idiot followers.

It’s going to be fun to watch Trump try one last trick to remain in power by getting Mike Pence to declare him king today. He thinks that when the Senate convenes to participate in a routine ceremony that Pence can just chuck it all and name Trump the winner. He tweeted: The Vice President has the power to reject fraudulently chosen electors.

Per Amendment 12 of the Constitution, Pence’s only job is to open the envelope and count the electoral votes for the Congressional record.

In other news, the cops who shot Jacob Blake in Kenosha will not face charges and Kyle a Rittenhouse pled not guilty. America has a long way to go.

The all powerful, evil, lily white, rich Republican Mitch McConnell is about to experience what all powerful, evil, lily white rich Republicans fear the most — being the minority. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH.

In 14 days, Democrats will control both houses and the White House for 2 years so let’s roll up our sleeves and clean house.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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