Human Stock

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 28, 2020

Trump is issuing an executive order against social media companies today because Twitter is fact checking him now. After lying every day of his presidency on Twitter, they finally called him out on 2 tweets and now Trump thinks he can use his presidential powers to exact revenge on Twitter. He slanders, incites violence and lies all day long, every day, on Twitter, without consequence. Anybody else would have been kicked off of Twitter for good.

Trump retweeted a video with a guy in a cowboy hat saying, “the only good Democrat is a dead Democrat.”

Trump said that some Democrats might be guilty of treason and should get “a firing squad” or “the rope.”

People protested George Floyd’s murder in the streets across the country for the second night in a row, demanding that the cop who killed him be charged with murder. Tensions escalated and fires erupted. The cops peppered the crowds with chemicals, shot people with rubber bullets, and one cop rammed into a protester with his patrol car, knocking him to the ground. Protests gave way to riots. Tucker Carlson called them “a threat to every American,” “tyranny,” “oppression” and that denouncing them is “defending society itself.” White male Republican translation: People who protest the murder of unarmed black men are violent but white cops who murder black men are not.

“A riot is the language of the unheard.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

American billionaires have gotten $434 billion richer during the pandemic but that’s not called looting.

The Republicans in the Pennsylvania state legislature hid the fact that one of them tested positive for the coronavirus but then continued to tell the public that it’s safe to go back to work while they themselves took precautions to protect themselves. They interacted with Democratic members inside the capitol, touching them, sitting next to them, speaking close to them without masks, and then watched them all leave to go back home to their families, likely exposing them to the virus. They all knew. That’s bioterrorism.

Trump has finally acknowledged the 100,000 dead milestone in a tweet. He’s 2,000 body bags late but whatever. Somebody else wrote it. Probably the new girl.

Not counted — the people who have been physically maimed by the coronavirus — those who survived but will never be the same, like what happened to people who got polio in the 50s and didn’t die.

Laura Ingraham devoted an entire segment of her show to whether or not Joe Biden farted.

2 million more people filed for unemployment. That’s 1 out of 4 workers out of a job. But hey, the stock market is doing great!

The US economy shrank 5% in the first quarter of Trump’s fourth year which is even worse than first thought. It’s going to be much, much worse for the second quarter but Trump will lie and say everything is GREAT! Bigger and better than ever!

Kevin Hassett, one of Trump’s White House advisers, said cheerfully on TV, “Our human capital stock is ready to go back to work!”

Human stock?

“What kind of shithole country tells its citizens to go out and die for capitalism” — Jeff Tiedtrich

The White House is refusing to release the formal economic projections for the summer that forecasts the extent of the financial downturn as a result of the Trump Plague. Trump is hiding information from the public to win re-election.

“For generations Americans have been living in fantasy worlds even as inequality became more and more apparent and its core hollowed out. The truth is right there. This country, as it is currently configured, serves no one besides a very tiny elite class. The fantasy is vanishing. The only people left who believe America is working are those profiting from its collapse and the people they’ve trapped in a delusional cult. And in a deadly, generational pandemic, we will suffer for their delusions. That anger and sadness you feel is normal. It’s recognition.” — Jared Yates Sexton

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.