I Am A Golden Orange God!
110,000 Indians cheered for Trump as he entered the stadium to the tune of the Village People’s “Macho Man.” In his 27 minute speech he mentioned how good he and India’s sworn enemy get along. “Our relationship with Pakistan is a very good one.” Some people walked out. Trump noticed. Hey where are all my Indians going? Was it something I said? I never once mentioned Pocahantas! Come back! Namiste! Namiste!
There were plenty of people still left in the stadium, worshipping him like a new God. We shall call him Dickshamepoopy, the God of the school yard bully who never grows up.
Trump got to visit the home of Mahatma Gandhi. He had to take off his shoes and sit on the floor so now the carpet smells like feet and dick, shame, and poopy.
Wild monkeys never did get a chance to rip Trump’s ugly, golden orange Godless face off at the Taj Mahal. When worshippers prayed to the monkey god to take care of Trump while disparaging their sacred mausoleum, they didn’t know that the monkey God was actually Trump so their prayers went unanswered.
The Taj Mahal is one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Ivanka calls it “Awesome!”
In the middle of the night Trump tweeted how great the stock market was doing even though the Dow was down 1000 points. God has tweeted everybody. Dickshamepoopy has spoken. Let it be so. The stock market is great! I am great! I am a golden orange god!
Meanwhile, the administration is freaking out over how to handle the coronavirus. Homeland Security Deputy Secretary Cuccinelli asked what he should do on Twitter because why not? You can reach Dickshamepoopy on Twitter so why not see if Louis Pasteur is available? Hello? Hello?
While Trump is still trying to get up from sitting on Ghandi’s floor, the White House is scrambling to put in an urgent budget request to address the deadly coronavirus outbreak because it’s spooking the financial markets and restricting international travel. Germs or dollars! Meanwhile Trump is reassuring everybody that the coronavirus is very much under control in the USA and that we almost have a vaccine for it. So Dickshamepoopy is going to cure the coronavirus and AIDS and pediatric cancer. Man, he really is a god.
Fox is downplaying the coronavirus, telling its viewers that it’s all liberal hype. Tucker Carlson is blaming the media for the coronavirus spread: “Wokeness is a cult. They’d let you die” over identity politics. Hey Tucker! Do your Christian followers know you pray to a Hindu god?
Former White House doctor Ronny Jackson says that White House staff used to put vegetables in Trump’s mashed potatoes in an effort to make his diet better. They would sneak healthy foods in with his heart attack foods just like overwhelmed, indulgent mothers of spoiled brat school yard bullies who do whatever they want. Eat your vegetables, little Dickshamepoopy, so you can grow up to be a big strong god like Brahma!
It’s Fat Tuesday today. Otherwise known as President’s Day in America or Dickshamepoopy Day in India.
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