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I Don’t Know

3 min readMay 5, 2025

Trump was asked if he was supposed to uphold the Constitution and he said, “I don’t know.”

Trump told voters he was going to bring prices down and now he’s telling people they’ll have to do with less and a little recession never hurt anybody.

In a couple of weeks MAGAs will experience the economy Trump told them they had under Biden.

At cabinet meetings, each member’s spot at the table is marked by their name placard, agenda, a pen to write with, a bottle of water and a MAGA hat. Everybody has to go around and praise Trump before any government “business” can be done.

Trump rolled back Hatch Act enforcement to allow federal employees to wear his hat at work. He is reversing a 2024 prohibition that forbade things like wearing the red hat after Election Day. He claims his workers were being denied their first amendment rights by not getting to publicize him at work. He is Trump branding the U.S. government.

At a recent meeting, Attorney General Pam Bondi smugly announced that Trump has saved the lives of 75% of Americans, 3 out of 4 people, because they’re fixing the Fentanyl crisis. She wanted the media to hear it loud and clear — 258 million people now owe their lives to Trump.

The head of HHS, Robert Kennedy, Jr., a former heroin addict, cancelled the Narcan program which saves hundreds of thousands of lives a year.

Trump said he’ll talk to the new prime minister of Canada about becoming the 51st state. He doesn’t think the military will be involved, but he can’t say the same thing about Greenland.

Mike Pence just got the Profile in Courage Award because he put his life and career on the line when he oversaw the election results in 2020. They had 4 years to give him that award. Why now?

Trump is revoking Harvard’s tax exempt status because they didn’t accept Barron.

Trump has ordered that Alcatraz, the really old prison that is now a tourist attraction in San Francisco, be reopened so he can put really bad guys there. Alcatraz has been closed since 1963. It isn’t habitable. He wants to open it because he saw “Escape from Alcatraz” on TV.

China and Russia intelligence want to recruit disgruntled fired federal employees.

Trump posted an AI image of himself as the pope which is Trumpier than Trump. The disrespect is being felt around the world and people are really upset, especially since he recently said he ruled the world.

U.S. citizens have received letters telling them to self deport.

Trump is charging a new 100% tariff on foreign films.

Trump says he has made over 200 deals with other countries over the tariffs. There are only 195 countries in the world.

Republican Congressman Mike Lawler did a town hall in New York and got his ass handed to him by irate constituents. He had people physically removed. Everybody got up and left at the end while he was still talking.

The EPA is cutting back to Reagan levels when the government didn’t care about the environment.

Trump participated in a National Day of Prayer ceremony at the White House where he signed an executive order establishing a new national Religious Liberty Commission.

The French have come up with an app that scans products while shopping in the store to find out if they were made in America. If so, they’re putting it back. #boycottrump

The U.S. Department of Education will star collecting on defaulted student loans today. This won’t affect MAGAs, though, because they think college is dumb.

Get a copy of the newly released book, “Trumped Up: Trump’s First Term and the Beginning of America’s End” by Spike Dolomite on Amazon! The book is taken from the Daily Crime Report from the first four years of Trump’s demise on America. Click here to order.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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