I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

Keeping Trump away from the podium so he can’t make an ass out of himself on live TV didn’t last long. After the press was told there would be no propaganda briefing yesterday, they were told that there would be after all. In the Rose Garden for dramatic effect. The Reality TV President episode: Live from the Rose Garden.

Before they shot the exterior scene, they shot an interior scene where invited CEOs of major corporations were directed to sit around a big important table and praise Trump. As they entered the room, Trump was unaware that the cameras had started rolling and were focused on him. He looked higher than a Trump branded drone and mumbled, “I love everybody.” The assistant director didn’t run in to rescue him from himself. Why? It’s good reality TV?

He bragged about himself of course. “What we’ve achieved is really nothing short of amazing, the United States now holds the world record for testing and by a lot. We’ve conducted more than 5.4 million tests, more than any other country anywhere in the world.”

Outside for the Rose Garden shot there was a red carpet and everything. Trump read a script and gave each CEO a moment at the mic to promote themselves like beauty pageant contestants showing off their swim suits. Nothing revolting and weird about that. Just a bunch of rich white men promoting their companies by invitation of the president on national television for free.

“I can only imagine how this looks in the rest of the world: we are facing a global pandemic and America is having a parade of CEOs congratulating each other.” — Tom Nichols

Trump tried to sound empathetic while deferring blame at the same time — “There has been so much unnecessary death in this country. It could have been stopped and it could have been stopped short, but somebody a long time ago, it seems, decided not to do it that way. And the whole world is suffering because of it.”

Not me. Don’t look at me. I didn’t do it.

Trump mentioned the dead in his speech, which is rare. Must be a new speech writer. “We grieve by their side as one family, this great American family. And we do grieve.” Sounds like Hope Hicks wrote this. Remember when she wrote down words on little palm cards to say to Parkland school shooting victims who had come to do a photo op with Trump at the White House that Trump cared?

He said that every governor has enough ventilators and bragged that whenever you hear about ventilators anymore it’s always in a positive way. He reiterated that he takes no responsibility for people drinking bleach, rubbing alcohol, Lysol and hand sanitizer, and bragged about creating the greatest economy in the history of the world. “I built it.”

CNN stopped airing Trump’s propaganda conference five minutes in.

After he was done with his scene, he dodged a very important question asked by a reporter: “If the testing is going so great why did Maryland have to go to South Korea to get 500,000 tests?”

Trump turned his back and walked off stage.

Meanwhile, Lou Dobbs was on Fox talking about Hillary Clinton. “I’d like to know what was on the Weiner laptop. I would like to know why we haven’t been able to find copies of those 33,000 emails.”

Trump is revealing his Twitter self to lazy voters who aren’t on Twitter at the podium. This is a shock to people who were lazy enough to believe everything they heard about Hillary but not lazy enough to show up to vote for Trump because Hillary Killary emails.

Dr. Lorna Breen was the medical director of New York Presbyterian Allen Hospital in New York. She killed herself Sunday because she couldn’t take it anymore. Her father said, “She was truly in the trenches of the front line. Make sure she’s praised as a hero, because she was. She’s a casualty just as much as anyone else who has died.”

Trump is having fighter pilots fly over Trenton and Philadelphia today to “honor” frontline medical workers. That’s expensive and Trump brand obvious. He’ll use that footage for a campaign video. If he really wanted to honor medical workers, he would have spent that money on PPE that they all needed months ago so they wouldn’t die from their jobs.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.