Impeach the ____________

Women and POCs made history yesterday. They were sworn in to the US House of Representatives representing all Americans in government, at long last. The Republicans still represent white men.

Nancy Pelosi made history by becoming the first woman to not only become Speaker of the House, but to become the first woman Speaker of the House TWICE.

Nancy Pelosi fun facts: She was in her mid 40s when she began her political career. There were only 23 women in the House when got there (12 Dems and 11 Republicans.) Her dad was 3 term Baltimore mayor Tommy d’Alesandra. Her district is San Francisco, the epicenter of the anti-Nixon/anti-war movement. She invited the drummer of the Grateful Dead, Mickey Hart, to her swearing in ceremony and invited all of the kids in the chamber to join her up on the podium as she took the oath. Her grand kids call her Mimi.

Nancy Pelosi was able to get the Affordable Care Act passed without a single Republican vote. American lives have been saved by this.

“I am particularly proud to be the woman Speaker of the House of this Congress, which marks 100 years of women winning the right to vote, as we serve with more than 100 women in the House of Representatives — the highest number in history” — Nancy Pelosi

While Nancy Pelosi was being sworn in Trump attacked India, libraries, the people of Afghanistan, and then held a fake “briefing” with 4 bald white cops in an attempt to take attention away from her. The message? WHITE MALE COPS SO THERE.

While history was being made in the House of Representatives, Trump tweeted out a violent anti-immigration propaganda video, the stock market took a dump, and Paul Ryan snuck out of the capitol, a pathetic beaten man.

“On the day when 102 women were sworn into the House — including the first Native American women, first Muslim women, first black women elected from MA & CT, first Hispanic women from TX — Trump showcased his preferred population.” Steven Beschloss

“Kevin McCarthy would have won if it wasn’t for his cankles” — Ian Millhiser

In 1989 the total number of women in the House was 16 Democrats and 13 Republicans. Today it is 89 Democrats (various ethnicities and religions) and 13 Republicans (all white.)

The Republicans are so desperate to look like they care about women that they’re rallying around the new kid on the sell your soul to the devil auction block Liz Cheney because she has a vagina. Never mind that she’s Dick Cheney’s daughter and will remind people of how evil the Republicans have been for decades. She bleeds out of her wherever so put her up front.

Mike Pence had to swear in 2 new female Democratic sinning senators. One was bisexual and put her hand on a law book instead of a Bible and looked him straight in the eye, and the other was a Jew.

Nancy cleverly invoked Ronald Reagan in her speech because Republicans used to do that all the time.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The Republicans used to quote Ronald Reagan all the time.

Trump hasn’t mentioned the stock market, but he did tweet this this morning: GREAT JOBS NUMBERS JUST ANNOUNCED!

Democrats passed a bill to reopen the government and Mitch McConnnell said NOPE.

Mitch McConnnell is putting it all on the Democrats, of course, saying that they can either make policy or harass the president, as if he and the Republicans have been making policy and have never harassed a president.

After Rashida Tlaib made history by being the first Palestinian American woman sworn in to the US House of Representatives, she attended a MoveOn event and told her crowd of supporters, “We’re going to go in there and we’re going to impeach the mother fucker!”

When asked to apologize for calling the president of the United States a mother fucker she said NO. Liberals clutched their eco-friendly pearls and said, “She can’t sink to their level!” Conservatives pointed and said, “See? SEE? No respect!” Fox News will probably call her a terrorist by the end of the day and their viewers at home will grab their guns because the Muslims and Socialists are coming.

Rashida Tlaib just said what we’re all thinking. Impeach the mother fucker.

Trump tweeted: How do you impeach a president who has won perhaps the greatest election of all time, done nothing wrong (no Collusion with Russia, it was the Dems that Colluded), had the most successful first two years of any president, and is the most popular Republican in party history 93%?

Puerto Rican American from the Bronx, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is a good dancer!

Impeach the mother fucker.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.