Impeachment Starts!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 12, 2019

Trump lied to the whole world when he made a speech about 9/11 at the Pentagon. He said he was a first responder after the attacks on the World Trade Center. He did no such thing. He was sitting on his big fat pasty ass in Trump Tower which is more than 4 miles away from where the World Trade Center once stood. He was watching TV like he always does when his program was interrupted with the news. To claim that he was in the know, in real time, by repeating such a lie in a presidential speech on such a somber occasion reveals just how truly pathological he is.

Trump brought up the canceled meeting with the Taliban at Camp David in his 9/11 speech. TRUMP BROUGHT UP THE CANCELED MEETING WITH THE TALIBAN AT CAMP DAVID MEETING IN HIS 9/11 SPEECH. Then he issued a warning for anybody who dared attack us again: “If for any reason they come back to our country, we will go wherever they are & use power the likes of which the US has never used before — & I’m not even talking about nuclear power. They will have never seen anything like what will happen to them.”

For the record, in the days immediately following the 9/11 attacks, Trump wasn’t at Ground Zero. Hillary Clinton was.

Trump wants to ban e-cigs and vaping because 6 people died. He says this cause is special to the Third Lady because she has a son. Not WE have a son. SHE has a son. 100 people are shot and killed by guns every day but whatever.

Trump is considering having Mike Pompeo serve as both Secretary of State and National Security Advisor because nobody else will take that job and Pompeo’s tongue and lips are already stained orange from kissing Trump’s ass.

For 2 years Israel has been spying on Trump and his psychophants via cell-phone surveillance devices near the White House and other sensitive locations around Washington. Even though Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu are buddies, Netanyahu doesn’t trust him. Nobody does.

North Carolina Republicans are the worst. On 9/11, the day after they barely won a special election that had be called because they cheated on the actual election, they tricked the Democrats in the state legislature into not showing up for work so they could override the Democratic governor’s veto on their budget. They told them that there wouldn’t be any business in the morning so the Dems and the governor went ahead and attended an official 9/11 ceremony. Democrat Deb Butler happened to be there because she wanted to check in for the flag salute and prayer for 9/11. She was horrified when she realized what they were up to. She stood up to call the speaker out for perverting democracy. He kept killing her mic so she just yelled instead. Her colleagues formed a protective cover around her body so she couldn’t be arrested. The press wasn’t there because they were told there would be no votes that morning either. Good thing someone video recorded it from their phone. Otherwise, it would be like it never happened. The vote was taken, 55–9. Not only was the vote dishonest, but it was carried out by a GOP majority that gained seats through illegal gerrymandering.

Sharpiegate continues. Trump’s Chief of Staff directed Secretary Wilbur Ross to contradict government scientists by defending big fat Trump’s big fat lies, which caused fear and panic in Alabama for the sake of his ego. The White House was directly involved in pressing NOAA to repudiate the weather forecasters who contradicted Trump’s claim that Hurricane Dorian was coming for Alabama.

Trump is trying to smooth things with John Bolton (who he called Michael Bolton.) He said they got along well and gave him credit for being so tough “he got us into Iraq,” but since he didn’t want to have anything to do with Kim Jong-un, that wasn’t going to work out. John Bolton is going to write a book. He’s pissed.

Today impeachment starts. TODAY IMPEACHMENT STARTS!

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.