International Women’s Day

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 8, 2021

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It’s International Women’s Day. It started in 1910 by Clara Zetkin, the leader of the Women’s Office for the Social Democratic Party of Germany, who said women around the world needed a day to demand equal rights all together at the same time. The first conference featured over 100 women from 17 countries, representing unions, socialist parties, and working women’s clubs. The following year millions attended around the world to protest for women’s rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. Man, oops woman, do we have a long way to go.

Only 24% of the US Senate are women and only 1/3 of them are Republican and all but 2 vote like Republican men.

Women have been hit hardest by the pandemic because they’re juggling work, homeschooling their kids, stressing out about keeping their families safe from covid and hiding their own stress and grief from them, and worrying about the bills, particularly if there has been a loss of income. It’s even worse for single moms, moms with kids with special needs, poor moms without wifi, and moms who don’t speak much English.

Qevin McCarthy is celebrating International Women’s Day by accusing Nancy Pelosi of turning the Capitol into a “fortress”.

What about Mrs. Potato Head?

“Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination celebration will go down in history as the gender reveal party that burned down the Republican party.” — Frank Lesser

America’s International Women’s Day superstar is Kamala Harris, the first woman, Black, Asian vice president in history. Her father was an African Jamaican immigrant who was an emeritus professor of economics at Stanford University, her mother was an immigrant from India who was a breast cancer scientist who emigrated to the US to pursue a doctorate in endocrinology at UC Berkeley. They met at a civil rights event. They married, lived in Oakland, had 2 daughters, took them to civil rights marches and to both a black Baptist church and a Hindu temple. That’s America.

Stewart Allen Clark, the sexist Baptist preacher who became famous for being a sexist pig and telling the women in his congregation on Sunday mornings to be more like Melania Trump or else their husbands will leave them as they should, has announced that he has taken leave to get “professional help”.

What is the international woman of mystery, Melania Trump, doing now? NOBODY CARES! She’s gone!

Republicans attack Jill Biden’s intelligence and accomplishments, after never saying a word about Melania Trump’s only accomplishment — marrying a pig and taking her clothes off for money. Oh gawd. We’ve all seen the dumbest, laziest, worthless first lady in history NAKED. Just as the founding fathers never envisioned a president as corrupt and indifferent as Trump, Clara Zetkin never envisioned a woman with so much power and international influence who would piss it all away to look pretty.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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