Isn’t it Ironic?

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 27, 2019
Isn’t it ironic? Trump doesn’t know what ironic means.

When the Soviet Union fell in 1991, Ukraine broke away and has been struggling to find its democratic legs ever since. Putin wants it back. They’re at war. The US has been helping Ukraine fight Russia. Putin helped Trump steal the election so he could do him some favors. Trump asked Ukraine to do him a favor — dig up dirt on Trump’s political rival, Joe Biden, and Trump will give them the military aid already promised to them. By holding up aid to Ukraine the US helped Russia. Isn’t that ironic?

Isn’t it ironic? Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign manager who is now sitting in jail, used to work for the oligarchs in Ukraine to fix it so the bad guys would win elections. Ukraine popped up on the RNC platform during the 2016 convention and everybody was like, “Ukraine? What’s the deal with Ukraine? Where is Ukraine?”

Isn’t it ironic? Trump was a TV personality with no political experience and people actually voted for him and he won. Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky, was a TV personality with no political experience and people actually voted for him and he won too.

Isn’t it ironic? Trump was, and still is, obsessed with Hillary’s emails and her private server and now he’s being impeached for hiding emails on a secret server.

Isn’t it ironic? Trump ran on “Drain the Swamp!” and “Lock her Up!” and now the swamp is flooding and and the swamp creatures are drowning and soon they will all be locked up.

Isn’t it ironic? People said impeaching Trump would make him more popular but support for impeachment has gone up 13 points. Trump is more impeachable than Nixon was at the same point in the investigation. Clinton’s approval rating went up when he got impeached because the public was disgusted that the Republicans impeached him for lying about sex. Nobody cared.

Isn’t it ironic? Trump paid off a porn star (and signed the check while sitting in the Oval Office) and the Republicans are like, “Eh. His sex life is his own private business. Nobody cares.”

Isn’t it ironic? The White House says that Trump will be so preoccupied with impeachment that he won’t be able to work. He already doesn’t work. He just watches TV and tweets. Like this tweet from this morning: To show you how dishonest the LameStream Media is, I used the word Liddle’, not Liddle, in discribing Corrupt Congressman Liddle’ Adam Schiff. Low ratings @CNN purposely took the hyphen out and said I spelled the word little wrong. A small but never ending situation with CNN!

Isn’t it ironic? Trump doesn’t know what a hyphen is and he can’t describe.

Isn’t it ironic? At Democratic debates, the crowd cheers when John McCain is mentioned. When Trump mentions him at his MAGA rallies, he gets booed.

Isn’t it ironic? Everybody in the White House is in a panic and no one has a plan.

Isn’t it ironic? Everybody at Fox is in a panic and no one has a plan. Paul Ryan, the former Speaker of the House who did nothing about Trump when he had all the power to do something about Trump is now on the board of directors at Fox and says it’s time to do something about Trump. Anchors, hosts and talking heads are fighting with each other on camera. Sean Hannity is still bullshitting his audience but behind the scenes is freaking out. Rudy is telling people to shut up and Tucker Carlson said Adam Schiff is “demonstrably mentally ill.”

Isn’t it ironic? Nancy Pelosi held out on impeachment until she knew she had the public’s support. When asked now if impeachment could backfire she says, “It doesn’t matter.”

Isn’t it ironic? Trump is anti-immigrant but 2 out of his 3 wives are immigrants and 4 out of his 5 kids are anchor babies.

Isn’t it ironic? Trump will be headed for the border soon. When the shit hits the fan Trump hits the immigrants.

“Trump’s in big trouble so expect Fox News to discover a caravan heading north to drug our kids and rape our women any day now.” — Brian Tyler Cohen

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.