It Is What It Is

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 5, 2020


The total death count from the Trump Plague is up to 160,000 — over 1,000 deaths a day. Trump could care less. He says, “It is what it is.”

Trump’s niece, Mary L. Trump, says that the expression “it is what it is” is a typical family phrase that was always used in the same context. Like, “let them eat cake,” “fuck off and die you ugly loser,” or “get out of my way you worthless IT.”

Mary Trump’s book sold more in one week than Trump’s book ‘The Art of the Deal’ sold over the last 29 years.

Trump’s Axios interview was all anybody could talk about yesterday because Trump should have been hauled off in a straight jacket but wasn’t which gives the whole world diarrhea except for Republicans. They’re full of shit.

“After watching much of the Jonathan Swain interview, might I just say: I hope our global friends (those who’ve stuck with us) don’t think we’re all this dumb.” — Steven Beschloss

He tried to dig himself out of the Axios hole by doing a press conference where he mispronounced Yosemite and called it Yo Semite. Then he called into Lou Dobbs’ show and Lou tried to help him out by TELLING Trump, “It is clear that there was a conspiracy in the Obama era, intelligence agencies, to overthrow your presidency.” This morning he called into Fox and Friends for a pinball machine interview and said that Obama’s speech at John Lewis’s funeral was “a terrible, terrible representation of what our country is all about.” He’s thinking about giving his Republican convention speech from the White House. It could take “years” to determine the election if people vote by mail.

Years. YEARS! It will take years, years, years to determine the election and people will cheat like you’ve never seen before if they vote by mail, but not in Florida. Somebody told Trump that nobody has won the presidency without Florida in 96 years so he’s making an exception for his “home state” but still suing Nevada.

Trump tweeted: Nevada has ZERO infrastructure for Mail-In Voting. It will be a corrupt disaster if not ended by the Courts. It will take months, or years, to figure out. Florida has built a great infrastructure, over years, with two great Republican Governors. Florida, send in your Ballots!

And this tweet: Whether you call it Vote by Mail or Absentee Voting, in Florida the election system is Safe and Secure, Tried and True. Florida’s Voting system has been cleaned up (we defeated Democrats attempts at change), so in Florida I encourage all to request a Ballot & Vote by Mail! #MAGA

Trump said mail in voting works in Florida because of Republican governors who have “been working on it for years… Florida has done a great job. We have total confidence that if you mail in your ballot in Florida it’s going to matter.”

Florida is approaching a half million coronavirus cases and 7,500 deaths but Governor DeSantis says go ahead and hug your grandma!

Meanwhile in nearby Mississippi, morgues are over flowing. The positivity rate is 21% but kids are going back to school.

In Georgia, a second grader tested positive on the first day of school which forced the whole class into quarantine on the second day of school.

What’s the Senate doing to save Americans from living on the streets? Nothing. Mitch the Bitch is blaming the Democrats for obstructing coronavirus relief. The House Democrats passed a bill back in May. It isn’t what Mitch the Bitch says it is. It never is.

Speaking of lying assholes in the Senate, Ted Cruz held a hearing on Antifa of all things and Mazie Hirono, Democrat from Hawaii, got disgusted and walked out because the Antifa threat is a made up Republican threat and she refused to be used for a political stunt.It is not what Ted says it is.

There was an explosion in Beirut, Lebanon which wiped out the port and a good portion of the city, killing at least 100 people, injuring thousands, and leaving 300,000 homeless. Trump called it an attack from the White House podium without knowing what he was talking about. Presidents never use the word, “attack” from the podium unless they know EXACTLY what they’re talking about.

The US Census has announced that it is going to stop counting a month early to fuck over everybody who isn’t white and Republican. Trump and the Republicans say, “It is what it is!”

90 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.