It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 2, 2021
The final scene of the Planet of the Gerrymandered Apes

Traditionally, presidents keep a very low profile after leaving office but not Trump. 6 weeks after he left he did another one of his rallies for the die hard MAGA faithful at CPAC but it didn’t go as well as he had planned. It was a relatively small crowd, no signs, and minimal media coverage (Faux News) and tweeters ignored him. He was mad. It’s his world. Where is everybody?

Trump was an hour late which he loves to do — keep ’em waiting in his world and make them believe he’s Elvis. The king has entered the building! I’m king of the world! He gave a 90 minute speech that he’s given a hundred times before except this time he added what a disaster Biden has been, how the election was stolen from him, and that everybody who voted to impeach him (he read all of their names) is his enemy now and needs to be dealt with. He wrapped his boring show up by plugging his website and asking for money. They’ll give it to him too because he’s king of their world.

The crowd booed the World Health Organization.

Trump’s niece, Mary Trump, who is a psychologist, says Trump’s fans love him because he gives them permission to “be their worst selves.” He offers an antidote to guilt and shame. They’re out and proud now, one in the same. He is me. He is we! He’s a king. I’m a king. We’re all kings! She doesn’t believe that the Republicans in congress are scared of him. They enable him because they agree with him. He is me. He is we! He’s king so I’m a king! We’re kings of the world!

The new Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Alejandro Mayorkas, had the grim task of letting the country know that the Trump administration “dismantled our nation’s immigration system in its entirety” and that they will need to rebuild border policy from scratch. “The entire system was gutted….It takes time to build out of the depths of cruelty that the administration before us established.” Like with covid, the Biden administration will have to fix EVERYTHING. In spite of that, the new task force has been successful in finding the parents of 112 kids out of the 611 who the Trump administration “lost.” Families will be given a pathway to citizenship and resources. Kids were tortured. If America doesn’t seek justice for them by holding the villains (Trump, Kirstjen Nielsen, Jeff Sessions, Stephen Miller, etc.) criminally liable, the international community should. 5,500 children were kidnapped by the US government under Trump’s direction. Their worlds were destroyed.

Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats are hard at work and will be tackling election reform, police reform, guns, immigration, a pro-workers’ rights bill and possibly the Violence Against Women Act and the Equal Rights Amendment in the next 2 weeks. After 4 excruciating years, the world is starting to make a little more sense.

President Biden is kicking ass in spite of getting a late start after Trump sabotaged him and the Republicans being their predictable partisan dick selves. Biden’s approval rating is over 60% at the 6 week mark. He and the Dems are rocking their evil world.

Government is starting to work the way it should because DEMOCRATS.

America is at a crossroads — white supremacy and American nationalism or inclusivity and one world?

Next up: The richest most powerful nation in the world should give every person living in it a world class public education so that future generations won’t be dumb enough to ever fall for a Trump again.

Trump and the Third Lady got vaccinated in secret in January but didn’t tell anybody because he didn’t want the MAGAs to find out because then they might go out and get vaccinated too. Worlds colliding! What Trump does and what Trump makes people believe he does are 2 different things.

Lindsey Graham went on Fox and said, “Donald Trump has been very nice to me. He has allowed me to be in his world.”

What in the world?

Republiqan hypocrite fun fact: Republiqans have their voters so freaked out about losing capitalism and America’s standing in the world that they have adapted to being totally stressed out, fearful, filled with rage and hate and blame, believing that being broke is only temporary and that could be rich if they worked hard enough, and that socialism is evil, that they wouldn’t dare believe that people in Sweden are much more relaxed, freer and happier because their taxes cover everything that Americans stress out about which leave them broke. The Swedes pay more in taxes, but have more money in their pockets at the end of the month because they’re not going broke from paying for health insurance, doctors, prescriptions and childcare. Plus they get a lot of paid vacation time. They don’t shoot each other either. They’re very happy and healthy. They don’t have a care in the world.

Republiqans are losing their grip. They’re vying for Trump’s attention and permission to be in his world.

This is how it ends.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.