It’s Over, Trump Humpers

Since Trump can’t find powerful, competent, legitimate lawyers to represent him during the classified government records scandal, he has decided to represent himself “pro se.” He filed his first suit, a motion for judicial oversight. He has asked for a special master (a third party) to review what the FBI did to him. It’s 27 pages of rambling bullshit.

He’s going up against the United States government thinking he’ll outmaneuver the feds like he’s done others so many times before. He is demanding that the DOJ return all of the documents that they took (that he took).

Federal officials have recovered more than 300 individual classified documents during 3 interactions at Mar-a-Lago over the past 8 months. Each document is worth 10 years in jail. Some of the documents relate to the NSA, the CIA, and the FBI, and are related to a number of national security matters. Trump’s former attorney who went to jail for Trump, Michael Cohen, believes that he took all of those records to “extort” the government in case he was ever arrested. He’d bribe the feds with selling or giving information to our enemies if they dared to prosecute him for any number of the crimes he committed while president. Irony of ironies - he could end up going to jail over the very thing that he tried putting Hillary Clinton in jail for — possession of classified documents.

“I hope the person that has to drive Trump to jail is named Brandon.” — Devon Sawa

The DOJ has issued a new grand jury subpoena to the National Archives for more documents as part of its investigation into the insurrection.

The Gang of 8 (top leaders in both parties who are privy to privileged information) is feeling left out of the Mar-a-Lago investigation and want to know what’s going on. That’s a problem because Kevin McCarthy is a member of the Gang of 8 and he can’t be trusted.

Dr. Fauci is calling it quits. At 81, he will step down as director of NIAID and chief medical advisor to President Biden in December. He led the National Institutes of Health for 38 years, leading the country through the AIDS epidemic and the COVID pandemic. Trump and the Republicans demonized and slandered him during the COVID disaster which forced him and his family to have to endure death threats.

Marjorie Taylor Greene opposes solar panels because she thinks they would cause the lights to turn off at night. She opposes the FBI too and is selling ”Defund the FBI” t-shirts.

Ted Cruz made a joke while in Nevada. He said he thought Elizabeth Warren might have a penis because, “in today’s Democrat Party, how do we know she doesn’t?”

The MAGA fair maiden who directed the white people inside the Capitol during their fantasy take over of the government on January 6 and stole Nancy Pelosi’s laptop, Riley Williams, received permission to leave house arrest to participate in another white people’s fantasy, a Renaissance fair. Merriment and white privilege at a pretend joust, granted by the queen. How apropos. Will she go dressed as an outlaw, knight or wench?

Republican candidate for US Senate in Georgia, Herschel Walker, embarrasses himself every day but he’s too dumb to get it. He tried attacking the Democrats for passing a new law that protects the planet for future generations by saying “Don’t we have enough trees around here?” Herschel Walker is the Black Trump. Both of them are not right in the head and will do whatever the Republicans tell them to do. Nobody objected when Trump put him up to run because they needed a Black guy to run against the other Black guy and any Black guy will do.

Colorado Republican State Senator, Kevin Priola, announced that he’s leaving the GOP to become a Democrat. He refuses to go along with Trump’s Big Lie and has called out the Republicans for denying climate change.

Climate change is literally exposing the past horrors of humanity — skeletons are emerging from the depths of reservoirs, rivers and lakes as the waters recede due to drought. Bodies have been found in barrels in Lake Mead in America and two dozen sunken Nazi warships have reappeared at the bottom of the Danube River in Europe, the infamous place where approximately 20,000 Jews were shot along the banks during WWII after being forced to remove their shoes so the Nazis could keep them (a precious commodity during the war). 10,000 explosive devices hidden within the exposed wreckage of Hitler’s Black Sea fleet have surfaced as well.

The Republicans don’t see the dead bodies. They don’t see the perishing rivers and lakes. They don’t see Trump’s crimes. They don’t see their own demise. They’re living in a really bad Renaissance fair.

“It’s over Trumpers. Go home and brush your tooth.” — Some guy on Twitter



Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.