Jokes on You

Spike Dolomite
5 min readFeb 10, 2022

Well well well well well, the National Archives and Records Administration believes that Trump took classified information with him to Mar-a-Lago and has asked the DOJ to look into it. That’s a crime that comes with jail time. That’s destruction of classified information. You know, the very thing that Trump, the Republicans, and the right wing media accused Hillary of doing by “losing” government emails. Trump took some stuff out of the White House and tore it up, ate it and flushed the rest.

Another journalist who had full access to Trump saved the best for last so she could cash in on a book. Maggie Haberman of the New York Times has a book coming out in October in which she says that White House staff had to deal with toilets that had been clogged up with crumpled papers. She also wrote about his yes men being afraid of telling him know. Like one of his chiefs of staff, John Kelly who tried to stop classified documents from being taken out of the Oval Office and brought up to the residence because he was concerned about what Trump would do with them when he was alone with them, his TV and burgers and what that would mean for national security.

John Kelly knew that Trump would eat or flush classified information.

The House Oversight Committee is looking into Trump stealing boxes of presidential records.

The Select committee subpoenaed Peter Navarro, the guy that Trump put in charge of advising him on trade who goes on Fox News all the time and has been bragging about how they tried to overtake the government. That’s a no brainer — calling him in because he’s already testified on Fox and Steve Bannon’s War Room which means he can’t claim a privileged relationship. The guy is a no-brainer. He has no brain.

Maybe Trump flushed or ate Hillary’s 30,000 emails.

“I don’t know if the former president actually ATE federal records, like ATE ATE them. But what I do know is that we live in a world where it is entirely plausible that the former guy would eat federal records to conceal them. And that’s bad enough.” — Walter Shaub

Wouldn’t it be great if the media covered Trump’s stealing and destroying classified information the way they did Hillary’s emails? THAT would be a service to the country.

Gadfly Kentucky bumfucky Republican congressman, Thomas Massie, whose Christmas card was a photo of himself and his family in front of the Christmas tree all holding weapons of war, the guy who went after Dr. Fauci by quoting a neo-Nazi convicted of child abuse and attributing it to Voltaire, tweeted: Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID, died on Medicare, and some people want Medicare For All?

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.” — A white supremacist child beater via a US member of Congress

The right wing media and Republicans are saying that Biden is using tax payer money to send drug addicts gifts, compliments of the Democrats, by sending them drug paraphernalia.

Marco Rubio tweeted: Biden is sending free meth & crack pipes to minority communities in the name of ‘racial equity’ There is no end in sight for this lunacy

Marjorie Taylor Greene made her regular appearance on One America News and defended her pet “political prisoners” in the DC jail like she regularly does but this time she referred to the accommodations of the Capitol rioters as the “DC gulag” controlled by “Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police.” She confused cold soup with the Gestapo, the Nazi secret police because she is a brainless buffoon. The internet went wild with jokes and memes and she tried to join in the fun by making a joke in a tweet: No soup for those who illegally spy on Members of Congress, but they will be thrown in the goulash.

Humor is best reserved for people with brains. It’s a give and take thing and it’s best when humor is enjoyed by really smart people but Republicans wouldn’t get that.

“People without brains do an awful lot of talking.” — The Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz

Republicans can be funny though, but only when they aren’t trying to be funny. Take for instance the Republicans in Florida. They have moved from banning schools from teaching the truth about American history to targeting homosexuals who don’t eat meat in schools. Their “Don’t Say Gay Bill” backed by Governor Ron DeSantis fixes it so that you can’t even mention LGBTQs in school, let alone check out a book about the subject. Teachers will be encouraged to out their students to their parents who might not know their child is gay if they overhear them talking openly about being gay. Also, schools can be sued if kids order vegetarian meals without their parents’ consent.

With an existential threat going on right now in America the Republicans are focused on meat in the wrong places (Republican approved places.) That’s funny in a sick and twisted kind of way but not because of the meat. It’s funny because Republicans are sick and twisted and should mocked and laughed at every single day.

Jokes on you, Republicans. You’re a joke. All of us smart people who get the joke and can take a joke would be laughing because you’re so ridiculous and absurd, if you weren’t so fucking dangerous.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.