Joy to the World

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 7, 2024

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The Harris campaign hosted a rally in Philadelphia to announce Kamala’s new running mate, Tim Walz. The venue was packed with upbeat, hopeful Democrats. The whole place was on fire with positivity and big grins. The two candidates were a hit and afterwards everybody was really high on the whole thing. People were genuinely HAPPY. It’s been a long time since Americans felt happy together. On top of the campaign’s new good news, nobody has had to hear about Trump et al in a couple of weeks because the good news has bumped the bad news right out of the headlines on a consistent, daily basis.

We’ve gone from doom scrolling to hope scrolling. The internet is happy too. People have felt the weight on their chests lift a bit. They have exhaled a bit — cautiously. They have unclenched their jaws just a little bit. They feel a sense of pride in their country again. They’re heedful though. You never know what that maniac will do and now that he’s been bumped out of the headlines for 2 weeks (he took a bullet for America, remember?), he’s ready to make us all pay. He’ll get his revenge so brace yourselves, happy people. King Con Don is coming.

Governor Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania welcomed everybody to his state and introduced the next president and vice president. In his speech he said JD Vance can’t be honest with Americans because he can’t be honest with himself. The crowd chanted, “He’s a weirdo! He’s a weirdo!”

When Tim Walz took to the podium the crowd went absolutely wild. He’s such a genuine guy — a straight talker, compassionate and funny. When he said he couldn’t wait to debate Vance, if he’s willing to get up off the couch, the crowd went insane. He went there. Finally. A Democrat went there. He also said that violent crime was up under Donald Trump “and that doesn’t even include the crimes he committed!” He went there, too. He talked about how Minnesotans are “live and let live” people and don’t involve themselves in their neighbors’ private affairs. When it comes to abortion, they might not get one themselves, but that doesn’t mean nobody else can get one. In other words, “Mind your own damn business.”

“Mind your own damn business” is a winning slogan.

“These guys are creepy and weird as hell” is a winning slogan, too.

Tim Walz is a liberal who owns and regularly uses guns but as governor he passed universal background checks because that makes sense. He legalized weed because that made sense, too. He got a highway in Minnesota named after Prince, the famous Minnesotan and musical genius who gave a lot to the state and the people in it. Tim’s background in the military taught him discipline, commitment, and what it means to have someone’s back. He taught social studies and history when he was a teacher, subjects that too many Americans are ignorant of. He taught kids how to think critically, which is a handicap that many Americans share. With his ability to impart information with good humor, perhaps he’ll make learning social studies and history great again. He had a lifelong impact on the adolescent athletes he coached, especially with the gay/straight alliance he sponsored in the 90s. He not only made it safe for gay and lesbian students to feel seen and heard, but he made it safe for macho boys who were inclined to bully, not to bully. His later career in politics as both congressman and governor have prepared him for the big job of VP.

Trump and the Republicans tried to emasculate him by dubbing him “Tampon Tim” because as governor he made sure that bathrooms in schools were stocked with menstrual products like they do toilet paper and soap. That backfired on them, though. All it did was spread the word across the country that this statewide program was quite successful. Maybe other states will implement it too. Tim Walz is a real man, not a bully, and he can take leadership from a Black woman.

Tampon Tim is going to help stop the red wave that King Con Don thinks is going to happen.

There is another rally today in Detroit. People have already lined up and 47,000 have registered. They’re not all going to get in and they know it but they don’t care. They want to be where the happy people are. The rally today will no doubt be energetic, positive and joyful and we’ll all get to keep hope scrolling.

The humor and joy is infectious with Democrats, but with Republicans, it’s infuriating. They’re laughing at us. Kamala and Tim are getting under their skin. The Harris campaign uses humor to not only uplift the country but to taunt Trump and the Republicans. This makes everything even funnier. And boy do we need to laugh.

At one point during his speech last night, Tim Walz turned to Kamala and thanked her for bringing back joy.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.