Karma Bites

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 27, 2023

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Karma kicked Trump in the balls for a second time when Judge Engoron found that Trump committed fraud with financial statements that exaggerated his wealth and value of his assets to get loans and then devalued their worth to get out of paying taxes. He ordered the cancellation of all of his New York business certificates and the dissolution of the Trump Organization plus “any entity controlled or beneficially owned by Donald J. Trump, Donald Trump, Jr, Eric Trump, Alan Weisselberg, and Jeffrey McConney” (Ivanka lucked out and wasn’t named in this suit because the statute of limitations ran out on her). An independent receiver will manage the dissolutions. The real estate empire that catapulted Trump to fame and the White House was nothing but a big hoax. His claims of being a multi-billionaire and greatest businessman of all time are proven bullshit. He has 10 days to get out of town. His trial starts next week to determine how much he owes in fines. Attorney General Letitia James is suing him for $250 million. He doesn’t get a jury trial because his attorney, Alina Habba, screwed up and didn’t request one in time so now he’s stuck with a bench trial with Judge Engoron who has been the Bain of his existence for years.

Letitia James subpoenaed Melania’s emails. She deposed Trump for 7 hours. He invoked the fifth 400 times. Witnesses for Trump’s civil trial will be bankers at Deutsche Bank, insurers at Zurich, property appraisers at Cushman and Wakefield, and his kids. He was held in civil contempt for failing to turn over documents and had to pay $10,000 a day until he turned them over to Letitia James’ office — $110,000 total.

Trump claimed that he valued his properties at whatever the Saudis would pay for them because they love him and his brand so much they will pay anything. Trump inflated his net worth by $2.2 billion per year then $3.6 billion.

No more declaring bankruptcy in New York for Trump! Karma done put him out of business. The Trump Organization got the death penalty.

The Republicans’ leading candidate for president has been found liable for sexual assault and fraud, his companies have been found guilty of fraud, and he has been charged with 91 felony counts (so far). Karma has finally caught up to that son of a bitch phony cry baby lying dickhead.

President Biden’s german shepherd, Commander, bit another Secret Service agent. This is the 11th time. Some of the Secret Service were in on January 6 and tried to hide it by deleting all their texts and emails. Good boy, Commander. Karma done bit the Secret Service.

The gun stunt that Trump pulled in South Carolina backfired (pun intended). The store he chose to make an appearance at was the Palmetto State Armory, the same gun dealer that sold a weapon to the white supremacist who hunted Black people at a Dollar Store in Jacksonville, Florida. He and his campaign did it to signal to racist voters that he supports violence against Black people. After the video went viral for the wrong reason (Trump tried to buy a gun while under indictment), his campaigned deleted posts of him making a verbal transaction and denied that Trump actually purchased the gun with his face etched on the side. His cavalier contempt could get him in more trouble. Taunting prosecutors and judges like this should catch up to him. Karma could put his flabby ass in jail until trial.

Watch Trump sue the gun store for using his likeness to sell glocks without giving him a piece (another intended pun.)

Speaking of guns, President Biden has announced the establishment of the first ever White House Office of Gun Violence Prevention, run by Vice President Kamala Harris. Young people have made a huge difference in this effort. Gen Z has been lobbying the Biden administration for this. This is the most dangerous time for kids, teens, and young adults in history. Newly elected 26 year old congressman, Maxwell Frost, a Democrat from Florida, got to introduce President Biden in the Rose Garden to make the announcement. Maxwell Frost is the former organizing director for March for Our Lives, the movement that started after the shooting at the high school in Parkland, Florida. He and March for Our Lives have been working on this project for 4 years. He said he got involved in politics because he “didn’t want to get shot in school” and the first bill he introduced was the Office of Gun Violence Prevention Act of 2023. The Biden administration is the strongest administration on gun violence. President Biden has signed executive orders such as the creation of this office to get around Congress. Republicans refuse to do anything about kids getting murdered en masse. The Office of Gun Violence Prevention’s mission is to both reduce gun violence and implement and expand upon key executive and legislative action to save lives.

Kamala Harris has had plenty of real life experience with enforcing gun laws from when she was the DA in San Francisco and the attorney general of California. In addition to answering the call of young Americans by heading the Office of Gun Violence Prevention, she has taken the lead in embracing change and appealing to younger voters. On September 9 she hosted a celebration honoring the 50th anniversary of hip hop and is currently in the midst of a tour of college campuses to urge young people to vote. She has been the administration’s leading voice on issues of reproductive rights and equality before the law, issues that mean the most to Gen Z. So look out Republicans, karma is coming for you, and it will be administered by the youth of America.

Hey buttheads whining about Biden’s age. He has a vice president, remember? He picked Kamala Harris to fill in for him if he dies in office. So chill out, whiners. Karma has got this.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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