Karma, Flies and Poop

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 10, 2021

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Today is going to be a big day for President Biden, the Democrats and the American people. The covid relief bill should pass the House for a final vote and move on to the White House to be signed by the president, and Merrick Garland will finally be confirmed as attorney general. Decency and justice will prevail!

Freaky Republican bratty senator, Mike Lee from Utah, the flat earth guy who swallowed a fly said this of HR1: “This is a bill as if written in hell by the devil himself.” God is gonna get you! Look out! Look out! Look out!

No, you look out, Mike Lee. The FBI is gonna get you.

The House voted to pass the Protect the Right to Organize Act to boost unions and strengthen workers’ rights. They passed it in 2019 but the repugs in the Senate swatted it down and shit on it as soon as it got there. Now we’ll have to wait and see what Kyrsten Sinema does this time to get attention. Will she dress up like Super Fly and fuck workers over again by voting with Republiqans who are all anti-union? Or will she stick with her first version of herself and vote for progress since Congress hasn’t done much for workers since FDR did in the 1930s?

President Joe Biden is pro-union. He posted a video of himself last week talking to Alabama workers without naming Amazon, whose founder and CEO is one of the richest men in the world partially because the people who work for him aren’t unionized, “Workers in Alabama — and all across America — are voting on whether to organize a union in their workplace. It’s a vitally important choice — one that should be made without intimidation or threats by employers. Every worker should have a free and fair choice to join a union.”

Democratic Congressman Tim Ryan from Ohio ripped the repugs a new one on the House floor over the Protect the Right to Organize Act - “Heaven forbid we pass something that’s going to help the damn workers in the United States of America!!!! Now stop talking about Dr. Seuss, and work with us!!!” Repugs just sat there with flies buzzing around their heads, pretending like they weren’t. Shoo fly, don’t bother me.

What’s that smell? What smell?

Republiqans will regret denying Merrick Garland his SCOTUS seat because as attorney general, he’ll go after them. With his background in prosecuting domestic terrorism and public corruption, he’ll hold everybody accountable, not just the idiots and conspiracy theorists who acted out their anti-government fantasies on January 6. He’ll go after everybody at the top who coordinated it, funded it, and started it.

“Instant karma is going to get you.” — John Lennon

The Justice Department was weakened so much by Trump that it is having a hard time investigating the attack on the Capitol. It’s a mess. Merrick Garland has a lot to fix.

Insurrectionists are being tracked down by journalists and amateurs and turned over to the FBI. Social media is like fly paper — once you put something out there on the internet, like pictures of yourself breaking into the US Capitol, you can never be rid of it. It will stick to you until you die and then you’ll have to spend the rest of your lifetimes trying to figure out how to get it off.

The RNC is going to continue throwing Trump’s name around to get money out of people whether Trump likes it or not so Trump is telling his followers to donate to him directly, not the RNC. Don’t give to the RINOs! Give your money to ME! Greedy Republiqan bastards kissed up to him for nothing. He’s set on destroying the Republiqan Party and he will succeed. Karma is a bitch, repugs, and it’s coming for you.

The founder of the Oath Keepers, Stewart Rhodes, has been busted for directing Capitol rioters on January 6. He wrote on the Oath Keepers website, “As we have done on all recent DC Ops, we will also have well armed and equipped QRF teams on standby … in the event of a worst case scenario, where the President calls us up as part of the militia to assist him inside DC.”

One of Trump’s rag tag MAGA militia gnats got punched in jail which made him cry so now he wants to go home. They’re all going to want to go home. Karma says no. Get used to the flies in jail, bitches.

Merrick Garland is getting confirmed today. The law is closing in on Trump and the Republiqans.

The law of karma is the law of cause and effect. Karma is coming for Trump and the repugs.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

“If you’re a really mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.” — Kurt Cobain

Trump’s followers are a bunch of magats, the repugs are a shit caked swarm, Trump is the Lord of the Flies, and they’re all going to get what’s coming to them. Swat!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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