King Con

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 9, 2019

The illegitimate president who is being investigated by federal prosecutors, who has been accused of sexual assault by at least 19 women and brags about grabbing women by the pussy, who has 5 kids by 3 wives and has cheated on all of them, who embodies all 7 of the deadly sins — lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride, went to Alabama after the deadly tornadoes and signed Bibles in a church as if it were a book signing and he wrote it. Just like the towers that he didn’t build that bear his name, he slapped his name on the cover of the Bible even though he didn’t write it. The crowd loved it and he made out like Jesus. Trump is the king of the cons.

Why did the MAGAs in Alabama want Trump to sign their Bibles? He is a mobster, a malignant narcissist, a master of manipulating the under educated and exploiting racists. He is the king of the dregs of society. How does one become a red hat wearing sign my Bible kind of Trump groupie? Normal people would really like to know.

“Alabama Bibles now have the same signature as a check used to pay off a porn star” — Alex Cole

Trump took a policy pitch by a member of Mar-a-Lago that was hand written on country club stationary, addressed to “King” (Trump,) and passed it on to the Veterans Affair Secretary. The country club member is a cosmetic dentist and wants more veterans to receive cosmetic dentistry. When confronted about it, the little lobbyist said he was just a small time dentist. A dentist who can afford the annual membership at Mar-a-Lago.

Congressman Adam Schiff tweeted in response: Dear King, Giving dues paying members of your golf club lobbying privileges is a terrible conflict of interest. You promised to drain the swamp, but you keep filling it. I would put this on Mar a Lago stationery but I’m all out. Hope you read it anyway. P.S. You’re not a king.

Cindy Yang, the Florida massage parlor owner who has been selling Chinese executives access to Trump at Mar-a-Lago, sure did take a lot of selfies of herself and Republican hypocrites at the Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl watch party. Among them were Trump, Don Jr, the former Governor of Florida and now Senator Rick Scott, the current Governor Ron DeSantis, Congressman Matt Gaetz (who voted against a sex trafficking bill,) and conservative “making the world a better place by debunking one liberal myth at a time” radio host Dan Bongino. Madame Yang is one of Trump’s campaign donors. One of her “spas” was recently raided and it was discovered that she had a number of enslaved Chinese women “working” there servicing men for money. Bob Kraft, owner of New England Patriots, was one of them. So now we know there are human traffickers who are members of Mar-a-Lago who rub with the president of the United States. King me.

In September 2018, Madame Yang received a personalized note from Trump and the Third Lady. It read, “Thank you for your friendship and dedication to our cause. Leaders like you in Florida are the key to fulfilling our bold agenda to Make America Great Again!”

Trump is a wanna be in the mobster world, too. He’s not even an important mobster.

Trump’s porn star name is King Kong.

Betsy DeVos’ brother is in trouble again. Al Jeezera’s Mehdi Hasan confronted Erik Prince, CEO of Blackwater, on camera in front of an audience and asked him why he didn’t tell Congress in November 2017 that he was at the Trump Tower meeting on August 3, 2016 with Junior, an Israeli dude with a back channel to the United Arab Emirates, and Stephen Miller, self hating Jew and king of the haters and goons. He said he did tell Congress that he was there but it wasn’t put in the transcript.

Arkansas State Senator Stéphanie Flowers gave her white male, gun loving colleagues what for in a rational but emotional soliloquy about open carry at a public meeting. She called out the packing gun nuts as crazy. She said that as a black woman, she feels threatened and worries about her son and all black kids in Arkansas because of the stand your ground laws. White people who shoot black people using that defense are 250% more likely to get off. They’ll do less time than Paul Manafort — none.

In other news, the House passed HR1, the For The People Act. This is a sweeping voting rights and campaign finance bill that includes Election Day as a federal holiday so more people can vote, automatic voter registration so more people can vote, ending gerrymandering so people will be more equally represented and Republicans can’t rig elections, and ending Citizens United which takes power away from the filthy rich and corporations and gives it back to the people. The vote was 234–193. Every Democrat voted YES. Every Republican voted NO.

The House also passed a bill to require presidents to disclose their tax returns.

The House applauded Congresswoman Deb Haaland, Democrat from New Mexico, for being the first Native American woman to sit in the Speaker’s chair to preside over a debate in the House of Representatives. It was International Women’s Day.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.