King of the MAGAs

Spike Dolomite
3 min readSep 12, 2022

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A federal judge threw out a RICO case that Trump brought against Hillary accusing her of accusing him of working for Russia. He said that she and the FBI made the whole story up. The judge didn’t rule the way King Trump thought he would which wasn’t in the plan. He really wanted Aileen Cannon on that case. In fact, he requested her. The judge was pissed that Trump even brought it and accused him of shopping for judges. He let it rip in 65 pages of criticism. He pretty much said Trump used the opportunity to rant which was unnecessary and a waste of time because he won the election and nobody harmed him.

The Trump Organization and the Inaugural Committee have to pay a $750,000 fine for misusing funds to rent Trump’s DC hotel at an inflated price.

Stephen Miller, the racist monster who had the Trump administration kidnap children at the border to torture their parents, the creepy Nazi who wrote Trump’s speeches, has been subpoenaed by a grand jury to testify about his involvement in Trump’s Save America PAC (he’s on the payroll) and the fake electors scheme. Brian Jack, too. He was Trump’s final White House political director. He’s still advising him as well as Kevin McCarthy. A dozen new subpoenas in all have been issued including Ken Cheeseboro, the architect of the fake electors scheme, the CFO of Trump’s campaign, Ivanka’s former chief of staff and several aides.

The DOJ is still investigating whether or not Trump still has classified docs that he won’t give back.

On May 6, 2021 the National Archives notified Trump to say they were missing material that could still be at Mar-a-Lago. On May 9, Trump got on a private plane headed for Bedminster, after loading several boxes onto the plane.

Trump flew into Washington DC last night without any fanfare, wearing his golf clothes and cleats, carrying his red MAGA hat. Nobody knows why. Tweeters surmised:

· Maybe he forgot something.

· Maybe he just wants to visit the Smithsonian?

· We’ll have to wait six months for the books to come out.

· Someone should check on Marla Maples.

· He could get a McFlurry anywhere.

· I heard it was a great landing. Many are saying it was one of the best landings, maybe ever.

· Is he gonna try to steal the Declaration of Independence now?

· He’s cosplaying Chevy Chase on his way to the pool to impress Christie Brinkley.

· Sorry to hear that he landed safely.

Yesterday was the anniversary of 9/11 and the media didn’t both sides it. For 21 years the media has never given the terrorists who attacked us the benefit of the doubt or a chance to tell their side of the story. Unlike the insurrectionists of 1/6/21, the terrorists who attacked us have never been anything but terrorists.

The so called liberal media has spent more time covering the queen of another country than they have the president of our own country making an important speech warning us about MAGA’s threat to democracy. It hardly covered his visit to Columbus, Ohio to break ground on a new microchip factory in Ohio that will create a bunch of union jobs and make us less dependent on other countries, a mere 9 months after he signed the CHIPS and Science Act into law, either.

Why isn’t the liberal media covering King Trump showing up in DC looking like he just got plucked off a golf course? The only time he’s been to DC since he got ran out of town was a month and a half ago when he gave a 90 minute speech for the America First Policy Institute’s two-day summit.

The queen of England is more interesting than King Trump quietly entering the Capitol city wearing cleats?

As we await to find out what Trump’s doing in DC, we also wait to hear word from Trump that he is, in fact, the real king of England.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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