Lamb Chops

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 26, 2024

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Trump agreed to a debate on September 10 and then chickened out and cancelled because he’s scared of Kamala.

To show how plugged in young people are to the presidential race, the TikTok ad that Kamala’s digital team made out of clips from Trump’s rally in North Carolina where he slurred his words got over 1 million likes.

White Women for Kamala had over 150,000 participants on a call last night. They raised $20,000 a minute and crashed both the donation website and Zoom. Total raised: $1.8 million in under 2 hours.

Barack and Michelle Obama have formally endorsed Kamala Harris.

Geoff Duncan, the former lieutenant governor of Georgia endorsed Kamala. He’s a Republican.

Melania Trump is selling signed copies of her memoir for only $150. Does she tell the truth and reveal how much she makes off of the “on the lam” silence clause of their prenup where she promises to keep her mouth shut about all of the crimes and grifts she knows about in exchange for cash, or is this book just another Trump grift, “Melania had a Little Lamb?”

Ted Cruz took advantage of the Kamala news by grabbing a camera and microphone to say, “Kamala can’t have my guns. She can’t have my gasoline engine. And she sure as hell can’t have my steaks and cheeseburgers.” He accused her of being a radical California leftist, hitting all of the hippie elite talking points as if liberals don’t own guns and eat steak. But not lamb.

One of the talking heads on Fox Business called Kamala Harris “the original ‘Hawk Tuah’ girl.”

Speaking of Fox Business, Lou Dobbs is dead. Was he the sacrificial lamb in 2021 when Fox got sued for defamation for lying about voting machines and election fraud? They had to fire somebody so let it be Lou?

MAGA men are warning their wives not to ruin America by joining other women to vote for Kamala. MAGA men have been putting women in their place for so long they’re scared shitless of being put in theirs.

Republicans face another major setback when the only policy issue they care about, the border, made big news today when the feds busted two top Mexican drug cartels in Texas. That’s probably because Mexico has a woman in charge now.

MAGAs are going through an identity crisis. Trump is starting to fade away. Kamala has really stolen his blunder thunder and since the media isn’t hammering the public with Trump all day, day after day, normal people are starting to regain their strength as MAGAs lose theirs. If Trump isn’t in the news every day does he still exist? If he doesn’t, then MAGAs will have to go back to being nobodys again. Trump really made them feel like somebodys. That’s why they voted for him.

George Conway has started a new PAC called Anti-Psychopath to remind voters that Trump is mentally ill and shouldn’t be anywhere near the White House. He believes that Trump’s pathological lying, authoritarian tendencies, and his disregard for democratic norms will destroy our country if he gets reelected. He put up his own money to do what the media refuses to do — call attention to the dangers that exist because Trump is not sane. www.psychopac.org.

Speaking of Trump being insane, Trump is still talking about Joe Biden even though he’s not running against him anymore. Will he do that for years like he did with Hillary? Trump won’t stop talking about “the late great Hannibal Lecter” either.

“I Never Feel Guilty Eating Anything.” — Hannibal Lecter

“I Never Feel Guilty Eating Anything.” — Donald Trump

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.