Land, Ho!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJul 1, 2021

After 3 years of investigations, the Trump Organization and its Chief Financial Officer have been indicted by the DA of New York. CFO Allen Weisselberg has already surrendered to the District Attorney to face charges. He’s not worried because they’ve been getting away with their crimes and fraud for decades. They’re used to it and expect to get away with whatever they’ll be charged with today just like before. Trump is paying his legal fees, which as with Michael Cohen, Trump’s attorney who went to jail for him, is a form of extortion. Prosecutors will be able to use that against Weisselberg and Trump. If he doesn’t flip, having Trump pay for his defense constitutes as a bribe if he stays silent.

If the Trump Organization is cut off by the banks and other business partners and is ineligible to file for bankruptcy again where is Trump going to go for cash? Russia or Saudi Arabia, but If Trump can no longer launder money for Russia or open the doors for Putin and Saudi Arabia as president what good is he?

Hillary Clinton isn’t expecting any indictments.

Serial rapist Bill Cosby got a “get out of jail free” card. His conviction was overturned due to a procedural issue. Ten years ago, the prosecutor at the time of his arrest, Bruce Castor, who was one of Trump’s lawyers in the second impeachment trial and made a food of himself, promised Cosby he wouldn’t press charges. The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania said ya, a promise is a promise, so they let him go, even though he was convicted by a jury. He served 2 of his 10 year sentence. The first thing he did was do a radio interview where he spun his case into a social justice issue. His publicist called it a victory for black America. His TV wife Phylicia Rashad tweeted out FINALLY! which passed a lot of fans off. Bye, Phylicia.

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is dead. He died without ever facing justice for being a war criminal. He lied to the American people and the world about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and leading us into an illegal war. He authorized torture. 200,000 Iraqis and 4000 GIs died because of him. He’ll be remembered for his infamous line regarding sending American troops into war unprepared — “You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.” He lived at Mt Misery, the house where former slave Frederick Douglass was sent to be tortured for a year to be “tamed.” He didn’t die there though, he died at his ranch in New Mexico. His legacy will be that of a war mongering liar.

The vote to convene a special committee to investigate the attack on the Capitol passed in the House with only 2 Republicans voting for it — Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger. Republicans support American terrorists which makes Republicans terrorists. Terrorists are in the United States government just like they are in Iran, North Korea, Russia and Lebanon.

Qevin McCarthy has threatened Republicans with being stripped of their committee assignments if they accept Nancy Pelosi’s invitation to be on the select committee.

Trump went to the Texas border to make a speech as if he was the president in exchange for Governor Greg Abbott saying he would pay to finish his wall. He said he was mere months from completing his wall and bragged about acing a cognitive test. Take that, Joe Biden! Biden couldn’t do that! There’s 35 questions, he said, and Biden would only get the first 2 right.

Governor Kristi Noem of South Dakota, wanted in on the Texas border action so she sent the state’s National Guard to the border, compliments of a billionaire donor. Republicans are finding private donors to use the military any way they want, just like any other terrorist organization.

The super rich have been renting out the National Guard for a long time. The most famous incident was in 1914 in Ludlow, Colorado. Coal miners went on strike so the Rockefellers paid the National Guard to end the strike. The miners first believed that the governor had sent the National Guard to protect them against the armed private detectives that they were fighting back against. They set the camp of 1,000 miners on fire to smoke them out to shoot them, killing 66 men, women and children. None of them were prosecuted. One of the many despicable moments in America history that isn’t taught in schools.

House Minority Leader Qevin McCarthy has instructed Devin Nunes to investigate Tucker Carlson’s claims that the NSA, which only concerns itself with foreign powers, for spying on him, using the House Intelligence Committee, which he chairs. This prompted the NSA to put out a statement saying they’re not spying on Tucker Carlson.

General Michael Hayden, retired NSA director, replied to McCarthy’s tweet in which he insults the NSA: You’re an asshole.

Will all of these hoes get indicted already? America’s brothers and sisters want to get on with building something new. Bros before hoes.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.