Last Day of the RNC
The RNC is finally over. The grand finale was Trump accepting the nomination and making history by making the longest acceptance speech in history — over 90 minutes. He started off like a normal person and then after about 10 minutes it was all over, but not. The guy rambled on and on and on, relying on old talking points such as “crazy” Nancy Pelosi, Democrats cheating, and the “invasion” at the border, but he had some new ones too such as being endorsed by the totalitarian dictator Kim Jong Un, calling for the next Republican National Convention to be in Venezuela, blaming “illegal aliens” for taking 107% of the jobs. He pointed to the former governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, and told him he was doing a “very nice job” (Walker hasn’t been governor since 2019, the current governor is Democrat Tony Evers.) The cringiest moment came when the firefighter uniform of the late Trump supporter, Corey Comperatore, who died after being shot by an assassin’s bullet meant for Trump, was rolled onto stage so Trump could kiss the helmet. It was not only gross and inappropriate, but he didn’t call the Comperatore family until he was shamed into doing it after Biden called them first.
Melania refused to speak at the convention. She showed up and made an obligatory appearance though. When she came out on stage at the very end with the rest of the family she refused to kiss Trump’s sweaty gross ass and cringed when he took her hand.
Trump snubbed Tiffany when she tried to kiss him on her way to be seated.
Kimberly Guilfoyle stood behind Trump in the VIP section and scratched her balls (all caught on video.)
Hulk Hogan spoke and it was WEIRD. He was in character. He yelled and and made empty, performative macho threats then ripped his shirt off. He sat in the VIP section with the Trump family and JD Vance. He and Trump have been buddies for a very long time. They have a lot in common. They’re both fake tough guys with fake tans.
Trump loves pro wrestling, most likely because he identifies with the fake tough guy thing. He had Dana White, CEO and president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) introduce him because Melania wouldn’t. Dana White is a wife beater.
During the day, convention goers could attend a variety of panels, workshops and events. REAGAN with Dennis Quaid and Jon Voight was screened a bunch of times.
Marjorie Taylor Greene, Peter Navarro, and Kari Lake did book signings.
Celebs who were part of the event: Porn star and rapper groupie, Amber Rose, conspiracy theorist and misogynist Russel Brand, country western singers “Buy Me a Boat” Chris Janson, “God Bless the USA” Lee Greenwood, and “Try That is a Small Town” Jason Aldean were there to represent “real America,” and then “You Fuck with Trump You Fuck With Me” Kid Rock who sang “Trump! Trump!” on stage while a few awkward white people “danced” in the MAGA mosh pit in front of mostly empty chairs.
“Kid Rock performing to an audience more suited for the lady giving away pizza bite samples at Trader Joe’s.” — Benn Jordan
Grindr, the dating website for gay and bisexual men, crashed during the RNC. The RNC is being called Grindr’s Super Bowl. There were so many closeted gay men looking to hook up in Philadelphia Grindr ground to a hault.
None of the “real” people who attended the convention and pledged loyalty to Trump would be allowed inside Mar-a-Lago. Trump can’t stand them.
