Law and Order

Trump held another televised round table meeting at the White House where he had everybody go around the table and praise him on camera. Bill Barr licked his butt and said, “First let me say what an honor it is for me to serve under a president who is such a strong supporter of law enforcement.”

Trump threw law and order at the wall to see if it would stick again. He’s saying now that the federal government may “take over cities” to combat rising crime, “Numbers are going to be coming down even if we have to go and take over cities.”

He tweeted LAW & ORDER in the middle of the night.

As expected, Trump blamed the former administration for the coronavirus during the round table. He told reporters, “Biden and Obama stopped their testing. I’m sure you don’t want to report it.” The coronavirus didn’t exist until nearly 3 years after they left office. LAW & ORDER!

The Washington Post has reported that Trump just hit 20,000 lies.

Trump’s campaign is spending 13% of its Facebook digital advertising budget on Texas because Biden is ahead 5 points. Texas. TEXAS! LAW & ORDER!

After people found out that one of Tucker Carlson’s writers was a scum bag loud mouth racist, he got fired and Tucker was sent on vacation.

Ivanka started a “Find Something New” campaign to inspire workers who lost their jobs to get out there and learn some new skills! Why not develop a campaign that gives people tips on how to skinny dip in other people’s cash and gold and get away with it? That’s the only thing she’s really qualified to talk about — “Who Wants to be a Faux Billionaire?” Law and order? HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Trump is bragging about commuting Roger Stone’s sentence (the one he got for lying for Trump), “I’m getting rave reviews for what I did for Roger Stone.” Fuck law and order. I can do whatever I want.

The White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Communications and Director of Social Media posted a cartoon and message on Facebook attacking Dr. Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert and former colleague of Mother Theresa.

The governor of Okinawa, Japan is really pissed. The island was coronavirus free until 61 Marines got infected after partying it up on the 4th of July. Now the base is on lockdown and an important ally is pissed.

While the rest of the country deals with rising infection rates and deaths, New York is reporting 0 deaths. Governor Cuomo says anyone who travels to New York from Florida will be fined $2,000 if they don’t provide contact information to authorities when they arrive. He also said, “Trump’s COVID scandal makes what Nixon did at Watergate look innocent. Nobody died in the Watergate scandal. Thousands of people are going to die in this COVID scandal.” Trump is trying to figure out how he can law and order Cuomo.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, Governor Newsom of California has sent everybody back home. He has rolled back the opening of restaurants, bars, gyms, salons, etc, because people got loose, lazy, or said fuck you to law, order, and basic respect and decency. In Orange County, the school board voted to make kids go back to school. Since churches are closed again evangelicals raced to the beach to jump for Jesus and dip themselves in the ocean without masks because their God’s law trumps state laws.

The mayor of Long Beach is dealing with his dad and stepmom being in the hospital with the coronavirus. They’re both on ventilators. Long Beach is in Los Angeles County, right at the border of Orange County. In Long Beach you can literally have one foot in law and order and the other in selfishness, stupidity and greed.

Trump keeps saying that the Democrats want to keep schools closed to hurt his reelection chances. Politics aside, parents aren’t sending their kids to school no matter what he says and teachers are writing their wills. 1 in 5 are going to quit the profession because they don’t want to die for Trump.

40% of childcare centers are in danger of closing. If kids run wild in the streets while they’re parents are at work, Trump will have the cops shoot them because he’s the law and order president and he loves it when cops shoot people.

Fox and Friends Brian Kilmeade has finally admitted that testing for the coronavirus is a disaster after he was personally impacted by it. It took 4–5 days for his daughter to get her test back after her soccer teammate got infected. Now he says that the government has had 4–5 months to get it together and it has failed. Fox has been saying there isn’t a problem for 4–5 months.

Another Law and Order rerun is on. Turn the channel.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.