Legitimate Political Discourse

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 9, 2022

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This guy. This guy is the guy that the GOP is defending as a patriot who participates in legitimate political discourse. He’s gonna shoot his eye out with that thing and the Republicans need his vote.

Well well well well well, if it isn’t Mitch the Bitch saying the RNC should not have censured Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger. But that’s not all! He also said, “It was a violent insurrection for the purpose of trying to prevent the peaceful transfer of power after a legitimately certified election.” Something big is about to break and he wants no part of it.

Kevin McCarthy ran from a reporter who asked him to comment on the RNC censuring Cheney and Kinzinger. HE RAN. ON VIDEO. Another reporter caught him and asked him about the RNC calling the insurrection “legitimate political discourse.” He was dumb enough to say that the RNC was only talking about six RNC members who were subpoenaed and weren’t event at the Capitol that day because they were in Florida. Well, now. That’s peculiar! The RNC resolution doesn’t mention anything about that.

Mitch McConnell, the leader of the Senate Republicans calmly denouncing the RNC on TV while Kevin McCarthy, leader of the House Republicans, is losing his shit, bouncing off the Capitol Hill walls that were once smeared with human poop by the people he is defending and running from reporters.

Kevin McCarthy’s QQQQQueen, Marjorie Taylor Greene got kicked off of Facebook again.

Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff had to be rushed out of a DC high school by the Secret Service because of a bomb threat. He was there for a Black History event. The high school is special because it was the first high school in DC that was built for children of former slaves.

Meanwhile in nearby West Virginia, high school students were forced to sit through a Christian assembly during school hours. Today, they’re planning a walk out because that’s legitimate political discourse. Separation of church, state and PUBLIC SCHOOL.

Book burning has been great for books. “Maus” sold out on Amazon.

Matthew Beddingfield, one of the white supremacists who participated in “legitimate political discourse” has been arrested. He’s in extra big trouble because he was out on bail for attempted murder when he and his dad attacked the Capitol and bragged about it on social media.

Can it get any dumber, posting selfies and videos of yourselves committing crimes on January 6? Yes. You could film yourselves with a professional documentary crew like the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers did when they met the day before the insurrection at a hotel.

Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio couldn’t make the insurrection because he got arrested on January 4. He left jail with his fly down, carrying his crap in a trash bag, wearing a mask (the symbol of covid libtards) wearing a pro white supremacy t-shirt with Malcolm X’s image on it — “Free the Proud Boys by any means necessary” — the perfect image of the average white male idiot Republican. It’s like the former House speaker, Paul Ryan, saying his favorite band was Rage Against the Machine.

Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes spent $33,000 on weapons and ammunition for January 6 and was ready for the president to give a command. His ex-wife said his fingerprints are all over the insurrection and that he fixed it so everybody else would go into the Capitol and he’d stay back and let everybody else get busted. Stewart was a combat vet and a graduate of Yale law school but he’s not that smart. He shot his own eye out after his gun went off when he dropped it in 1993. His ex says he has to wear the patch because he didn’t take his prosthetic eye out every night to clean it. He left it in for 2 years and it got really infected and stuck in there so it had to be surgically removed.

More and more white supremacists who were just practicing “legitimate political discourse” will be going to jail for many years because they acted out their GI Joe fantasies for Trump to watch. He’s telling these guys that he’ll pardon them all. Why the need for pardons if Antifa did it? Because in Trump World, two lies can be true at the same time.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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