Lest in Jest

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 10, 2024
Andy Ogles is a congressman from Tennessee who represents the district where the Covenant School shooting took place last year. In 2021 he sent out a Christmas card of he and his wife and kids in front of the Christmas tree, holding gigantic weapons that weren’t designed for simple protection. They’re designed to take out a bunch of people in seconds. He believes that life begins at conception.

The Arizona Republican Supreme Court is going back 160 years to outlaw abortion in the state by digging up a law that criminalizes abortion and will put anybody in jail for 2–5 years if they perform one or help women get one even if they are raped at gunpoint by an intruder in the middle of the night or if little girls are molested by their fathers. This draconian law was passed by white men during the Civil War, 48 years before Arizona was even a state and undoes the 15 week ban currently in place. Arizona is the 15th state to outlaw abortion at all stages of gestation. Republicans are doing this lest women in Arizona become more independent.

Prior to the state Supreme Court decision, anti-abortion activists prayed out loud, in tongues, on the Arizona Senate floor led by insurrectionist Senator Anthony Kern, a fake elector who was at the Capitol on January 6.

Speaking of Arizona MAGA Republicans, Andy Biggs and Paul Gosar, both members of the US House of Representatives, have been subpoenaed by investigators for their role in January 6.

Arizona governor Katie Hobbs is pissed off about that the Supreme Court is forcing women to be dependent and subservient to men and the government. She made a speech calling the court out and promised to do everything in her power to stop them. Same with state’s attorney general. The two of them will have to be really creative in protecting women from Republican misogyny, lest they grab more control until abortion can be protected in the state’s constitution by putting it on the ballot in November.

What just happened in Arizona is all due to Republicans with Trump at the top. He’s not a Republican, but he sure does hate women. He made a video “announcement” saying his stance on abortion is to let the states deal with it. He’s been bragging about overturing Roe v Wade and now he thinks he needs to be more moderate lest he lose a few votes. He has changed his stance on abortion 13 times over the past 25 years. The media covered Trump’s video “announcement” as if it was his views on government spending. Ho-hum. The story should be “Look what Trump is saying now after overturning Roe v Wade.”

Reminder: 4 of the justices that overturned Roe v Wade lied lest they not be confirmed.

Trump loves taking credit for stacking the highest court in the land with anti-abortion Republican activists who overturned Roe v Wade with its Dobbs decision which outlaws abortion at the federal level. This decision has had far reaching consequences. The second highest court in Uganda cited Dobbs so it could put gay people in jail or even kill them. Authoritarian governments around the world can cite Dobbs as the new international standard. Totalitarians can point to it now and say, “even in America” when denying citizens their autonomy and human rights.

The Biden campaign is putting out ads of actual women who have been tortured by not being able to get abortions lest people forget (or ignore) what’s really at stake here.

Former Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich called Trump out for his abortion video announcement. He said that he’s trying to appear pro-choice as a trick to get re-elected so he can pass even more extreme abortion bans.

Charlie Kirk says that birth control “screws up female brains” and turns women into Democrats. He’s just mad he can’t get laid. His wife is a former Miss Arizona and won’t let him near her lest her lipstick smear or her hair get out of place. His sexual frustration must be compounded by the fact that he’s getting too old to run his conservative group for college kids. He’s 30 now — a millennial trying to lead the organization he founded, Turning Point USA, a national student movement dedicated to turning out the next generation of total pricks.

Abortion isn’t about loving and protecting babies and everybody knows it. If Republicans actually cared about babies, they wouldn’t cut programs designed towards keeping those who have the misfortune of being born poor fed, healthy and safe so they can grow up to be contributing members of society. They’d fund their schools so they’d be informed citizens. They’d care about kids getting shot at school, too.

Speaking about kids getting shot at school, the parents of Ethan Crumbley, the kid who is in jail now for shooting up his school in Michigan, have been sentenced to 10 and 15 years jail time for giving their disturbed 15 year old a gun as a gift then failing to secure it, ignoring his cries for help, and blowing off his school’s concerns about him being a threat to himself and others.

Gun nuts who give their kids guns as presents better think twice before adding one more gun to the gun culture gene cesspool. Give the gift of life lest adolescent depression, anxiety and rage manifest itself in another school shooting.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.